Kraut 🥬

Woke up to some real pathetic behavior

Train conductor just gave a little girl a ticket ‘with a doggy on it’ and said that it’ll get her on ‘any train in the world’ now. How’s that fucking fair

And if you ain’t a toy get up out my playhouse

Seriously how the fuck are they trying to build a datacenter in utah that would use more power than the entire state of utah. Has everyone gone completely insane.

@hanfjob But the music isn’t good either

Greta Van Fleet could be good if they had a vocalist that sang instead of whatever the hell that is

God works in mysterious ways. Like if you spend decades hoarding wealth and destroying the housing market then one day you have to hear your adult son cumming.

@BauerOutage Don’t no one want u big crusty

Hypothetical: You’re the owner of an MLB team. I offer to take $0 salary and sign a minor league contract and go to Low A. If the “he sucks now” crowd is right and I get lit up, you cut me, lose $0 and there’s no risk to the big league club. If the “clubhouse cancer” crowd is right, you see it immediately at Low A and cut me. You lose $0 and there’s no risk to the big league club. If there’s massive negative PR, which we already know there won’t be, you just cut me and move on. The story is dead in a couple days, you lose $0, and there’s no risk to the big league club. But, assuming none of those things happen, which they obviously wouldn’t, if you like what you see, you can promote me to AA and re evaluate me there. Then AAA. Then the big leagues. If I earn it, which you’d be 100% in control of deciding. If you don’t think I’m good enough, you lose $0 and there’s no risk to the big league club. You could take away my “antics”. You could take away my social media. You could ask anything of me. If I don’t comply, you cut me, lose $0, and there’s no risk to the big league club. What logical reason is there to not do this? At worst, you cut me and there’s no risk to the big league club. At best, you get a Cy Young winner for $0 who you know can still pitch and could help the big league team if and when you see fit.

@GianmarcoSoresi “Run a podcast”

It’s not something you’d necessarily notice unless you run a podcast or whatnot, but random motherfuckers on the internet always got a lot more feedback when the guest is a woman

Bummer this guy turned out to be such a pussy

A foreign pedophile who doesn’t pay taxes wants to speak on “entitlements”.

The reason native americans made mounds that were only visible from 10,000 feet was that Shamans flew while in trance states. Some could put their minds in birds as they flew. This is well known

@stoolpresidente Oh wow I heard you killed yourself glad ur safe champ

I don’t get what the gay kid doesn’t understand. If he went to Gaza they’d murder him for being gay. Doesn’t seem that complicated.

Fun Fact: The war in Iran costs us more in one hour than this program costs in a year.

This is so fucking funny this guy is a real life Kenny Powers.

They out here charging $20 for 8 wings. I don’t give a fuck about no aliens right now

yeah i got a porn addiction porn myself a big bowl of cereal

Touching his circumsizion scar: you know they control the banks too

@SarahPalinUSA Ok back to the igloo grandma

Don’t comply. This time, just don’t.

My dog Alban died peacefully yesterday. He was an excellent dog.

as a ~2020 essential worker~ the way ppl talk about this “quarantine” has always cracked me up. y'all were not held captive, you were at my job harassing me!