elon mustard

hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine

We need a leftist Andrew Tate. We need a leftist Fox News. We need a casino where you don't gamble and they give you free money. I refuse to understand the ecosystem I'm in the center of and I will not leave or modify my behavior. We need leftist McNuggets

@Srirachachau liking this post as proof of concept

I don't actually understand why everyone is going to Bluesky, this place is what you make of it. If you like enough Dua Lipa posts, your timeline is fine

one positive from today is i am feeling very unburdened by what has been

hey brett, go favre yourself

what does he think a missile defense shield is? i want to know so bad

me: let the time run out. who cares. the world is better off without me anyway… jigsaw: heyyy nooo. cmo-(voice filter off) cmon man. you’re awesome

important to remember that this isn't our fault. they refuse to stop profiting from murder and misery but tell us we have to save the world every four years by enabling their barely better brand of corruption. get fucked.

ok i need this election to be done, multiple times i have wondered if i am dead and in hell, i did the thing they've told me i had to do my whole adult life and all the democrats can manage is being slightly less obviously evil. not doing it again and i hated doing it this time.

@Srirachachau that one's an all-timer. watched this and elm street 3 this year, chuck russell was on a hot steak

Have the 80s The Blob on, what a picture!!!

@nice_mustard Mos Feratu

HOLLYWOOD, 2025 PRODUCER 1: Nosferatu is a hit! 100 billion gross. Oscars across the board. Where do we go? PRODUCER 2 and 3 [in unison]: Dos Feratu P1: Tag line. P2: This time... there's TWO Feratus

when i think of hard work, i think of a suited walrus who screamed at children on tv for being too gay

@weedhitter please stop breaking into my house

eating som’ corn nuts watching the scariest dwarf you’ve ever seen eat an entire crow alive

@leducviolet ironically it is now my own butt, that is screaming

my theory is that they can get away with calling every election the most important in history because our phones gave us all dementia. i forgot how to tie my shoes because of cat videos. i've worn a diaper for years from watchimg gangnam style

very cool sir! i can't wait for you to rapture us to mars in a big exploding tube! so dark and gothic!

oh you think its funny that 300 iq males are crashing their teslas & being cooked alive by some weird type of fire thats immune to firemen

i am watching gremlins 2: the new batch. and it might be the best movie ever made. the jokes are impossibly good and it looks like a Spielberg

Let's fucking goooooooo

i give out weed candy to kids on halloween. i get it specially made to look like regular candy which costs me thousands of dollars every year but i think it’s fun. i won’t stop.