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Grinch: I would like to buy a dog
Pet store employee: ok are you a guy?
Grinch: No. I am some sort of gorilla
Pet store employee: That is fine.
Grinch: A green gorilla
Employee: Doesn’t matter
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Out today! My debut novel, Murphy Who Talks, thanks to @IndieNovella
Murphy loves the peace and quiet of The Purser's Retainer, but when the threat of redundancy looms, he sees an unlikely win-win: turn the pub into London’s first silent pub.
Fun times.
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Can you tell us how he died, where, and why?
UEFA@UEFA
Farewell to Suleiman al-Obeid, the 'Palestinian Pelé'. A talent who gave hope to countless children, even in the darkest of times.
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@JibblePuss @ftersuns The clip is from the 2022 movie Aftersun, directed by Charlotte Wells. It stars Paul Mescal as a father reflecting on life during a holiday with his daughter.
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Italian football club Lazio fired their falconer on Monday after he shared images and video footage on social media of his penile implant.
wantedinrome.com/news/lazio-fir…
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Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!
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thought nothing would ever top that Serena Williams poll but 6% of Brits saying they could definitely qualify for the 100m has ended me
YouGov@YouGov
27% of Britons reckon that they could qualify for a sport at the 2028 Olympics, if they started training today % saying they would definitely/probably qualify for... 10m Air Rifle: 15% Archery: 13% Badminton: 10% Table tennis: 9% Rowing: 7% 100m sprint: 6% Road race: 6% 100m Breaststroke: 6% Trampoline: 6% Shot Put: 5% Cycle sprint: 5% Dressage: 5% Fencing: 5% Golf: 5% Volleyball: 5% Basketball: 4% Football: 4% Windsurfing: 4% Triathlon: 4% Water polo: 4% Rhythmic Gymnastics: 3% Artistic Gymnastics: 3% Diving: 3% Rugby Sevens: 3% Skateboarding: 3% yougov.co.uk/sport/articles…
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People help to repair damaged wall at #Southport Mosque after violence last night. Latest in @BBCNWT at 1.30
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NEW: Confrontation between demonstrators and police at a planned far-right march in Southport. They’re now attacking a police van.
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There’s no kind of weather that doesn’t fuck me off to some degree.
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A demon flattening someone out and preparing to cut them into soba noodles, Japanese Hell Scrolls ~ 1855
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me not buying a treat at the store so i can save money: haha fuck yeah!!! yes!!!
me at home without a treat: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck
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