OldFUTGuy

@not_jeffepstein Exactly what Jeffrey Epstein would say, sir.

Hello this Palm Beach Pete just wanted to thank everybody for the support and good vibes… I’m not Jeffrey Epstein

@zfifa19 Why do people do this? Saka has been playing for like ten minutes compared to those other guys. Just chill out & enjoy the player.

Saka shouldn’t even be in that room tbf

Yet he just favorited a post of mine.

Una tradición como ninguna otra . . . ¡Es viernes! CIoth off!

@MikeBeauvais @redsteeze I like to think about the writer’s room at Walker Texas Ranger when someone pitched the “kid with AIDS” story. The correct response to that should have been: “Holy shit, Larry, what are you talking about? That’s insane. Never mention this idea again. Not here. Not to anyone.”

It's time for one last pull of Conan O'Brien's Walker, Texas Ranger Lever. Rest in peace, Chuck Norris.

I like to think about the writer’s room at Walker Texas Ranger when someone pitched the “kid with AIDS” story. The correct response to that should have been: “Holy shit, Larry, what are you talking about? That’s insane. Never mention this idea again. Not here. Not to anyone.”

RIP Chuck Norris… …but it is impossible not to think about this right now. Just cannot be done.

“Caregivers but real American citizens.”

I don’t know if Afroman fucked my wife either tbh

Nothing but respect for my next President.

@MLB More like Schwarbomb my blood sugar level amirite

The Phillies are changing the game with their new "Schwarbomb Sundae" 🤯 It's a mini helmet filled with soft-serve ice cream and topped with a funnel-cake-fried strawberry Uncrustable, fresh strawberry sauce and fruity cereal pieces 🤤

I’m a grown man doing laundry and hanging bras to dry. Do not get on my level.

It is almost time for a national discussion on Druski and how he is a thing.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

See what Gen X gave you, people? We gave you this gem about a dick that can be removed. 100% slaps.

Can't remember if it was 2000 or 2001, but I took an elbow to the head at some point during A Perfect Circle show & I may have been concussed and that is why I barely remember it definitely was not mushrooms nope for sure wasn't that.

Seriously. There are hundreds of special cards now...kind of makes the use of the word "special" not so special anymore.

FIFA was better when there were just TOTW special cards in packs.

“Let my kid bully your kid with no repercussions.” Fuck all that.