Alex Olshonsky

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Alex Olshonsky

Alex Olshonsky

@oloal

Create a life too fulfilling to numb • Exec coach & somatic therapist • Men’s work & retreats: https://t.co/NqD1u2xwnu • Writing & pod: https://t.co/vrLIV2STBD

California Beigetreten Mart 2011
546 Folgt5.2K Follower
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
I wrote what's essentially becoming my core thesis. We're all subject to addiction, today more than ever. Follow it down, and it's not just substances and screens, but thinking patterns themselves. This is what contemplative traditions have been pointing to for millennia: you can set down compulsive thinking and discover what’s been living you all along. This one's about how to actually do that, and what it feels like to live less in your head, and more intuitively.
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
Thinking is the most socially acceptable addiction
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nicole
nicole@digitlartifacts·
spring surfers in san francisco
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
This critique makes sense. I was writing less about Buddhism and more about a practical pattern in men's work - what to do when attraction arises and you're in a committed relationship. You can frame it through fetters or jhana or New Ageism, but it's really just a body-level skill.
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bera-ing the Un-bera-ble⏸️
You know the Western Buddhist belief that being in poly relationships shows you are an anagami, right? Everyone knows that one. You are not attached to one person nor aversive to them sleeping with someone else, so you broke the fetters of greed & hatred. Obviously. But look, I have a solution for the tpot people who don't like this idea. Our counter argument for our not-boyfriends and not-girlfriends is that they are failing to jhanify their crushes on other women/men into the samadhi of exclusive love for us! Other people obviously have the capacity to do so, as we see in the shared post here. So this is an issue. not of wisdom or morality, but of lack of concentration.
Alex Olshonsky@oloal

It's extremely common for a man to have shiny object syndrome - to be in a committed relationship or marriage and come across a woman who arouses his desire. The amateur move is to rush to a conclusion, believing this desire must be acted upon. He might obsessively fantasize, actively pursue her, stir up drama in his current relationship, or self-attack and spiral in a “what does it mean that I’m attracted to someone else” type loop. This results in actions he regrets, or most often, leaky sexual energy. The deeper move, and the invitation in men's work, is to recognize that this feeling of attraction is an utterly natural occurrence. And if you channel it into your body, as a recognition of love for the Goddess, a complete awe at Nature's beauty, you can circulate that energy through your system in a healthy way and let it inspire and energize you. It grounds you. The crush is no longer about the specific woman but about the love of Creation itself. And with the recognition that it's the same feeling you have for your partner, every crush becomes fuel for that devotion. What Sasha is pointing to here, in a different register and another banger, gives more instruction on how to do that.

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♪ 🌌🦌
♪ 🌌🦌@librxrian·
@oloal Bro you are a 11 on the faggot-richter scale let me tell you
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
It's extremely common for a man to have shiny object syndrome - to be in a committed relationship or marriage and come across a woman who arouses his desire. The amateur move is to rush to a conclusion, believing this desire must be acted upon. He might obsessively fantasize, actively pursue her, stir up drama in his current relationship, or self-attack and spiral in a “what does it mean that I’m attracted to someone else” type loop. This results in actions he regrets, or most often, leaky sexual energy. The deeper move, and the invitation in men's work, is to recognize that this feeling of attraction is an utterly natural occurrence. And if you channel it into your body, as a recognition of love for the Goddess, a complete awe at Nature's beauty, you can circulate that energy through your system in a healthy way and let it inspire and energize you. It grounds you. The crush is no longer about the specific woman but about the love of Creation itself. And with the recognition that it's the same feeling you have for your partner, every crush becomes fuel for that devotion. What Sasha is pointing to here, in a different register and another banger, gives more instruction on how to do that.
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Ryan
Ryan@satsminded·
@oloal David Deida
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Tiki Man
Tiki Man@tiki_man_·
@oloal Maybe u engage w it by making love just one time and then releasing it
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Neutrale Instanz
Neutrale Instanz@NeutraleInstanz·
@oloal Could you please give a pointer to the book or other work on the subject? Who is Sasha you’re referring to? Didn’t find anything on your blog but eager to learn more.
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
@Orenar4 This patterns goes both ways but I was addressing men given that's where a lot of my work centers
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Orenar 🦇🔊
Orenar 🦇🔊@Orenar4·
@oloal This actually seems much more like an issue for women. Men can quite easily separate sex and love.
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Prince of Tibet
Prince of Tibet@snowliontigre·
@oloal Your post and the quoted text have nothing to do with Buddhism. This is all New Age syncretic Burning Man drivel.
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Puntedwun
Puntedwun@puntedwun·
@oloal Women experience desire for people who aren’t their partners too. Just sayin’…
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
@AnnaKovacic2 I agree endless purification, in this regard, has its limits for most moderns. But I was speaking less about abstinence and more about the pattern some have around shiny object syndrome
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Anna Kovacic
Anna Kovacic@AnnaKovacic2·
@oloal If youre talking about attraction while practicing abstinence, thats challenge youll get tired of eventually bcz more you purify, youll be attracted to just about everyone in some way. Exhausting. Thats when you learn to deal with the false reality sexual energy creates & detach.
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
My friends at Aurora have two excellent workshops coming up: Laura Ward on presence through movement (this Sat) and Diana Justl, a brilliant somatic psychotherapist/yogi, on breathwork for deep stress release (Mon). Highly recommend both. Oh, and yours truly is running back Breaking Your Addiction to Overthinking next Friday :) luma.com/aurora_communi…
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
Leaving a retreat in Arizon. Goddamn, I love the American West
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
As a dad who does his best to wake up before mom and son, tiptoeing in the dark, getting breakfast ready, occasionally stealing a moment to practice or start work, but usually just in time before they rise and the house comes alive... Truer words have not been written.
🍂@Lovandfear

- Khalil Gibran

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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
At some point you realize the most spiritual thing that's ever happened to you is discovering that spirituality is unnecessary
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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
We’re living on a planet where whales gather across bloodlines to help a newborn breathe Earth is fucking amazing
Anish Moonka@anishmoonka

A newborn sperm whale can’t swim. It starts sinking the second it’s born. If nobody pushes it to the surface, it drowns in mile-deep water. On July 8, 2023, a sperm whale named Rounder went into labor off the coast of Dominica. Researchers from Project CETI, a $33 million AI initiative out of MIT, Harvard, and Northeastern that’s trying to decode whale language, happened to be there doing routine fieldwork. They had drones in the air and underwater microphones running. What they captured over the next six hours just got published in two papers, one in Science and one in Scientific Reports. Eleven whales gathered at the surface before Rounder even started delivering. Her mother, Lady Oracle, was there. So was her daughter Accra. Three generations in the water. But the wild part: half those whales belonged to a completely separate bloodline that normally keeps its distance from Rounder’s family. On a typical day, these two family lines split off to hunt in different areas and rarely cluster together. For the birth, they all converged before labor started. The unrelated family somehow knew it was coming. The delivery took 34 minutes. Sperm whale calves come out tail-first with their flukes still folded from the womb. They haven’t developed the oil-filled organ in their heads that helps adult whales float, so the moment they’re born, they’re dead weight in the ocean. Every adult whale in the group, related and unrelated, started taking turns pushing the calf up to breathe. They kept this rotation going for three hours. When a pod of pilot whales (known to be aggressive toward sperm whales) and a large group of Fraser’s dolphins showed up during delivery, the adults formed a wall around the newborn until the threat passed. The underwater audio is where it gets interesting. CETI’s microphones picked up the whales changing their vocal patterns during the birth. The click-based sounds they use to talk to each other shifted at specific moments, and vowel-like structures appeared in the recordings. This builds on what CETI found in 2024 when they ran machine learning on over 8,700 recorded whale calls and discovered sperm whale communication isn’t a basic 21-sound code. It’s a system of about 300 distinct sound combinations, with the whales adjusting rhythm and timing in real time, speeding up and slowing down the way a musician does mid-performance. A 2025 follow-up from UC Berkeley found these clicks also contain vowel patterns, something scientists had assumed only humans could produce. Sperm whales carry the largest brain of any animal on the planet. About 9 kg. Roughly six times heavier than yours. The evolutionary analysis in the new Science paper suggests this kind of cooperative birthing goes back over 36 million years, to the common ancestor of all toothed whales. The calf was spotted a year later, swimming with its family.

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Alex Olshonsky
Alex Olshonsky@oloal·
There's a word for when your entire life is organized around avoiding something. I wrote about it, and its opposite
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