Mark McCormack 💜

Congratulations Crystal Palace!

Not the most eventful first half, but nevertheless… C’mon Palace!

@cokkbeard Why, thank you 😊

@optimark_prime Noice!!

First time on feet, in the glorious Cornish sunshine…

When is 4G not 4G? When it’s supplied by O2. Another day with awful mobile internet coverage. Well worth the £50 per month I pay.

@LFC For only 73 mins though. Baffling from Slot.

"Mo Salah! Mo Salah! Mo Salah! Running down the wing..." 🇪🇬👑

@cokkbeard @LFC I like AI, and you play brilliant football, but IF he does come to us, and it doesn’t start well, the fans are going to be singing for Alonso.

@optimark_prime @LFC 20b years ago my mates continental FIFA team were Dortmund, mine was Palermo (mother), so we were well aware of him When you guys got him I knew you had good days ahead. AI wont make political statements in the same way, but he'll appreciate and integrate

73' - The whole of Anfield stands to applaud as Salah comes off on his final appearance for the Reds - replaced by Frimpong. Thank you for everything, Mo ❤️ [1-1] #LIVBRE

@cokkbeard @LFC I miss Jurgen so much. Not just for the style of football, also the person. He knew. He had morals. He understood people. Closest manager to Shankly we could have got.

@optimark_prime @LFC You'll have AI in a month's time You're fans will worry whether he can manage big edits and be split 50/50 between excitement and fear Then you'll be playing the mental presses that you loved watching under JK You'll be grand ;)

@cokkbeard @LFC It’s a typical Liverpool performance, tbh. Nothing to make you fall in love with the sport at all. Very rare I’ve ever felt this disconnected, with the team, and with our results.

@optimark_prime @LFC Two performative subs, I'd not mind if you were either winning by 4 or losing by 4 but otherwise this is infuriating Not even just you, City being equally shit

🏆📸

35 years ago, the much-anticipated Sonic the Hedgehog rolled into Mean Machines' office, and lo. There was much celebration and elbowing each other out of the way so we could play it. An overnight sensation who felt like he was here to stay. And decades later, he's still a star.

@cokkbeard That should have been the end of Rogers’ reign. He lasted another few months, and then we were blessed with Klopp.

@optimark_prime I'm thinking of that Stoke Gerard farewell I guess. Important game stayed long in the memory, but yeah that's bloody ages ago now, I'm old

Stop trying to interview Villa players on the pitch, let them fucking celebrate with their teammates and fans. Fuck me, TNT Sports’ reporter is pissing me off.

@cokkbeard I’m not sure about that. We drew 1-1 with Palace last season, but iirc we’ve won most of our last final day fixtures. Sorry, lol.

@optimark_prime You've had a few terrible final days in recent memory, I'd still rather you and Citeh win More likely than the other, and easier on the old nerves

@cokkbeard If Brentford score early, we may well completely collapse.

@optimark_prime If you lose, then please lose hard, seven goal swing needed ;)

@cokkbeard We are as bad a footballing side as I’ve ever seen, and it’s a travesty that we will likely get Champions League football ahead of your lot.

@optimark_prime He should be feeding them all plenty of beer and making sure they spend four days celebrating Plus you guys doing the work against the Bees

I'm speaking in England this summer! 6 lectures, 4 cities! Come see me! Order now! ovationtheatres.com/secrets-of-the…

@JazRignall @digitalfoundry I miss those days.

This issue is the first Mean Machines that @digitalfoundry worked on. I introduced him in the editorial in proper Mean Machines style, which meant writing a ton of double-entendres, exaggerations, outright lies, and bollocks. Pretty sure it was funny, but you can decide on that.