Tom

🎶 It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie 🎶

@Scientits YUP

September.

@philgibson01 Yeah!

@tdawks Great! Let's get pinty some time.

@tdawks Tom! I hoped that might summon you. You still in/around Tooting? Or have I somehow made that up?

They used to have a transfer window in American football too, but they closed it because of the draft.

NOT MUCH, 'SUP WITH YOU?

Just voted. Turnout low and polling station staffed entirely by bewildered primary school children. Make of that what you will.

@Llia HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! 🎉

@mralistairgreen Terrific.

Caution! May contain humour 😂👍

@sam_bambs So so sorry to hear this. Sending you all lots of love. X

My lovely Dad died today after a long illness. A fighter to the end. Sleep well Abu Ji. You are at peace now. May God be with you. انا لله وانا اليه راجعون

@tdawks THREAT SUCCESSFULLY EXECUTED

@tdawks HAPPY BIRTHDAY T TO THE DAWKS X

@glowypanda It IS! THANK YOU!!!! I think it's definitely some kind of bread product, maybe the FREE DOUGHNUT the lads at Lidl are offering me...

@tdawks I heard it's your birthday! happy birthday, as I believe people say, and also I think they usually add, have a good 'un. Whatever a 'un is. Some kind of pretzel maybe?

@sam_bambs OH H*CK

@tdawks I WILL TEXT YOU xxx

@Scientits THANK YOU!! x

My Etsy shop's now open with my jewellery collection: intricate casts of real flowers & nature finds & tiny wearable sculptures of British birds handmade by me in recycled silver. LIMITED spaces in my order book-once it's full I'll close my shop again: etsy.com/uk/shop/silver…

@squires_david @guardian_sport Brilliant!

Here’s this week’s cartoon for @guardian_sport theguardian.com/football/pictu…

We are @premierleague.

@sam_bambs :/

Ted Rogers. Greatest spoonerism ever.