thomas

For @dirtyverse, I wrote a metareview (a review of reviews) of Kevin Killian's "Selected Amazon Reviews," and about how difficult it is to buy a good spatula on Amazon these days. Thank you @daisandconfused for the great edits!

My first day as a professor. I walk into the classroom and write one thing on the blackboard: Do you think Walter Benjamin ever experienced wet ass pussy? Discuss.

New textured haircut

Accutane update: I seem to be slowly emerging from the purge! Hair is a mess though.

If you’re a socialist then you’re more of a New Yorker than any conservative born here.

you can read my lengthy statement for THEM. lol

maybe i'm #toowoke but tall people should be allowed to enjoy music too

if you really wanted to be gay, you'd be gay

thumbs were made to be twiddled

nah fr nice underwear will change your life

If I ate a single 1 billion calorie cracker, how fast would I get fat

IDGAF! Cancel your wedding.

Hatred is a funnier thing when you don’t care 😂

It’s possible for a boy to get so hot that he gets really, really bad at sex.

enough of this Kalshi-sponsored loser and his stupid variations on this stupid chant. Stop killing our motion with this nonsense

Smudged my camera with sweat

Your safety and privacy are not important to me

More of this please

looking very normal madame ambassador!

Just had my follow up with the dermatologist and I'm excited to announce they are just taking all of my skin off next week. No more skin, no more acne!

where r u. where did u post that picture from. where is it in the picture you posted. who’s there and where are you and who are you there with. also where are you going and who will be with you. and where have you been