tinyhousebar

Ghislane Maxwell about to call the Joker, Hannibal Lector and Cookie Monster to the stand. #SecretsFromMrsClausPast

You are in grade school. It’s square pizza day in the lunch room. Not one mass school shooting has ever taken place. You wad a piece of paper into a ball, flick it up & over your best friends thumbs pointed up like goal posts. You are safe. Spiked banana chocolate splits, $9

Drunken Auntie: a chai martini tribute to your cool auntie who swoops in vintage furs, arms laden with wood puzzles & rhubarb licorice. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS SMELL LIKE CARDAMOM? Chinese dumplings start at 6pm, cocktails, games & political zingers for the Uncle Tom at your table.

Some knew Kyle would walk when Judge Schroeder let him pick jurors from a raffle drum. We knew when Kyle started crying & Judge Schroeder whipped out a titty & tried to breast feed him…something is Rotten House in Denmark.

Elon Husk: @elonmusk could let Bezos be most hated billionaire space donkey. NO! His “quip” @BernieSanders insisting richest pay their taxes? “I forgot u were still alive.” Sick roast, Baby Dracula. Surprised bc u haven’t managed to suck the blood out of all of us commoners yet?

Look at that! You spent all day avoiding work on your phone & just like that it’s the weekend 😉 Dip on in for this Yellow Chartreuse creamsicle and dapper dappled sunlight hitting the patio, $12. Here for inside, patio or drive-thru until 2am. 🦶☀️🦶

Dancing Skeleton: Slurp! Legend has it that when the lights go out in Tiny House, all the dead birds pull a Toy Story and come to back life for one last jig around the bar. Have you ever counted the dead birds at Tiny House? You should because they are counting you. Here til 2am

We are contacting u about ur car’s extended warranty! Now eligible for loan forgiveness! U won a free stay at a 4 star hotel! Just answer our incessant robocalls or the IRS will come to your house, slap you across the face & tell u your mother never loved you. Ginger sazerac, $9.

MY ITEM IS IN THE BAGGING AREA: look the grocery store has sucked for awhile. They can try to blame paying workers more on the price of goods going up, but notice how these raggedy ass self-check outs in the stores don’t make prices go down? Hot cinnamon whiskey spiced wine, $9.

Nothing spooks quite like the classics. Join us Sat. for, “Nightmare on 13th St.,”a horror classic double feature showing Poltergeist (1982) followed by The Omen (1976) supernatural thriller. Tickets $10 available at door. Showing in Tiny House backyard, bring chairs or blankets.

Shat-down William Shatner the oldest person to travel to space at 90 years old was, “so moved he hopes he never recovers.” Bezos cut him off so he could spray champagne all over the women - a living frat boy cliche: tax the fuck out of “Spaceship are My Pussywagon,” rich, $9.

Respect the Strike: you like having a weekend? Thank worker strikes. Skip Kellogg’s cereal, come thru for the “respect the strike,” spiced apricot sour, $10, we will donate all proceeds to support striking workers. And stay off their cereals until Kellogg’s does the right thing.

Bend & Snap: We’ve got beautiful weather, strawberry vodka creams & High Noons on special with proceeds benefitting locally resettled Afghan refugees.

Nice Marmot: All you Big Lebowski fans better get down here to check out the new fall menu. It really ties the room together. Our current take on the White Russian: vodka, salted caramel cream liquer, cold brew. Let’s roll! 🐿

Ooooo. Just in time for Spooky Season, the Lincoln Police have delivered us a good ole fashioned The Call is Coming from Inside the House plot twist! The recent rash of fentanyl laced cocaine overdoses have been traced back to Lincoln Police’s own evidence locker. 😱 Classic.

Archetype homeblend, mezcal, vanilla & caramel hot sipper for that Friday fever, $10. Complimentary acorn squash with purchase. Here until 2am w/ our new Fall menu. Come tell us your favorite fall conspiracy! We will go first: a lot more mailmen are serial killers than you think.

Apple Pipe:  Ah the apple…good as juice, sauce, butter, or pie. Toss one in your bag & if you run into a doctor, chuck it in their face & they’re guaranteed to stay away. In a pinch, it even be used as a smoking device. Come taste smoky mezcal or scotch, Campari & apple cider.

WE DID OUR OWN RESEARCH: Not by reading! We slammed 15 old fashioned variations back to back, spun around 3x & pointed to the only remaining drink in focus: Fall Pecan Old Fashioned. We will be handing out Honorary Doctorates until 2am. Thats right. It’s Dr. Tiny House to you.

#NegroniWeek is upon us! We’re featuring the classic version, but come let us create your perfect negroni. Prefer whiskey, or rum? There are as many versions of this drink as there are ways to say #petericketts is a bootlicking cue ball. We love the versatility! #Nebraska