Chaser

“…after dinner he put on his Iron Maiden t-shirt, put on some rock music and start painting his space marines.”

“hahahahahahahaha sorry about the titties”

You ever find yourself at that, “ugh, I already rubbed one out today; should I try for another” moment?

@NDAKenny you are now allowed to follow me.

I keep forgetting to have a food plan before I do a J. I gotta get better at this shit.

All these little snakey poos, man.

"Fuck yea, man!" - stoned guy who successfully unloads the dishwasher

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck." - stoned guy eating ice cream

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck." - stoned guy eating ice cream

"The fuck is a 'Mormon?'" - Founding Fathers™

HA! “I have the dizziest boner right now.” youtube.com/watch?v=Ea3RAk…

“Hooray! Freezer beer save.”

“I don’t know, I’ve just always had a thing for wizards.”

Look at this fuckin’ guy… with his headlamp… showing off… what a dick.

“So many great bars to go to on Portland when your yacht drunk.”

You know, like, when you're stoned and you can FEEL the chocolate eating your teeth?

I keep telling my wife, “there’s nothing as fashionable as skinny,” and that she “should get more into fashion!”

Guy Fieri is like an orgasm — hopeful, enthusiastic, a little bit of a let down, white stuff squirtin’ out the top.

Monday morning sharts. But I kept it in the folds, saved my jorts. Whole lotta day left.