Halimah Ahmed@ahmedhalimah02
I think more married couples need to speak honestly about this whole 50/50 marriage conversation, because a lot of the unrealistic expectations people carry into marriage today are quietly setting many unions up for failure.
The truth is, there is really no such thing as a rigid 50/50 marriage in real life.
Marriage is not mathematics. It is not always balanced neatly . Sometimes it is 100/100, sometimes 80/20, sometimes one person carries more than the other for a season. What matters is not the exact ratio, but the willingness of both people to show up fully for the success of the union.
For marriage to become what it was truly designed to be, both parties must be intentional, responsible, and willing to bring their best selves into it.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with supporting your spouse financially, domestically, emotionally, or mentally, regardless of gender. That is the whole point of partnership. You are not enemies. You are not competitors. You are meant to be on the same side.
That said, another truth many people may not like to hear is that in most successful marriages, the woman often ends up giving more. Not necessarily because she is lesser, weaker, or meant to be exploited, but because consequences of actions and inactions are not the same for Man and Woman, especially in this our part of the world, and sadly, we can’t “woke” ourselves out of our realities.
Biology, society, childbearing, emotional labor, and even reputation tend to place different weights on both genders, whether people like it or not. The earlier people understand that marriage may not always demand the same things from both people at the same time, the better prepared they will be for real life.
Where it all becomes dangerous is when both people enter marriage already carrying fixed selfish ideologies.
A man who is already determined to split bills with his wife no matter the circumstance, and a woman who is already determined never to contribute to the financial or practical stability of the home no matter the situation, are both already entering the union with the wrong mindset.
That is not partnership.
That is two people preparing to protect themselves from each other instead of preparing to build together.
And that is one of the fastest recipes for a disastrous union.
A healthy marriage is not built on;
“What is the least I can do?”
“How do I avoid being used?”
“How do I make sure I don’t give more than you?”
It is built on;
“What does this home need from me, and am I willing to give it?”
That is what sustains a marriage.
Not social media unrealistic standards.
