Adam Long

go.bdsmgalls.net/nadine Face it. Our planet is bipolar.

I'm guessing Minnie uses mouse pads when it's that time of the month. go.bdsmgalls.net/rosa

go.bdsmgalls.net/jacklyn Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.

go.bdsmgalls.net/georgia The "PB&HJ" looked better on the menu. They really do have everything at the Cheesecake Factory.

If Betty White killed someone, I wouldn't turn her in. go.bdsmgalls.net/joan

go.bdsmgalls.net/daisy Pretty sure that Twitter is not one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag. go.bdsmgalls.net/jesus

tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/rene Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".

tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/tina I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home.

tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/lottie "It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos

If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/angie

If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/carla

shorturl.xaijo.com/lorrie Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you shorturl.xaijo.com/douglas

So how many abortions do you have to have before you can go "pro"? bitly.xaijo.com/paige

tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/helen Instead of "single" as a marital status, it should read "independently owned and operated”

Usain Bolt runs at 31mph which sounds good, but if he hits a child there's a 40% chance they'll die. tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/bernadette

gnail.in/jean Face down, ass up, that's the way babies often sleep. Adorable!

If we start calling it 'potato juice', Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?? bitly.xaijo.com/cassie

Fuck! I have to fly to California to prevent a forest fire. THIS IS TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY! bitly.xaijo.com/sidney