Emily Collier

One-word questions which can be answered by simply repeating the word: “Tea?” “Tea” “Pub?” “Pub” “Alright?” “Alright” “Sorry?” “Sorry” “Taxi?” “Taxi” “Deal?” “Deal” “Okay?” “Okay” “Pint?” “Pint” “Bed?” “Bed”

Not long till Father Pancake comes down the cooker hood. Don’t forget to leave an egg out for him 💫

Fat Families was absolutely savage 😂

Difficult night for my sexuality

Hope you left your egg and Jif lemon out for Father Pancake last night 🤞

“thank god it’s finally the weekend! the weekend:

I honestly applaud all you girls looking all stylish and chic out on your winter walks, I genuinely look like I’m fresh out of the P.E lost property box

Merry Christmas everyone

Lockdown 2 hasn’t even started yet and we’re in our dressing gowns making jam tarts #aheadofthegame #lockdownready

Please remember to offer shallow bowls of life saving water for hedgehogs in the heatwave. Also please do share this post to remind your friends and family to do the same. 📸 Michael Partridge 🌞☀️🦔💧

Just had my first McDonald’s after 2 months - never felt so satisfied yet so disgusted with myself #maccyds #toomuchfood

Unbelievable letter from school regarding coronavirus measures. Unbelievable.

A reader submitted this image of some very excellent design rates:

Me: I’m going to try and be positive today Me two minutes later:

I’d literally to do anything to be listening to Jess Glynne on a jet2 plane rn

Choosing your quarantine character 🍾👏😂 twitter.com/Don_Favs/statu…

Crying in the toilet to feel like I’m on a night out

Not to brag but what a time to be childless

@CharlotteEyley So rough 😂😂

For anyone that thinks they've had a bad morning I've just cleaned ryans turkey vom out of our kitchen sink because where else would you decide to puke than the kitchen 🤷‍♀️ #vomalicious