Bry with a Y

@RealGrumpyCat "Could you guys keep it down?" —Fido

Here are the rules: I get two and a half months to respond to a text but you must reply within 30 minutes or I call the police

don't you hate it when you can't find that one charging cable?

PLEASE STAY HOME SUNDAY AND WEDNESDAY. PLEASE.

I'd like to think Tommy Lasorda is bellied-up to an upsettingly long bar in the sky, next to Harry Carey, enjoying an ice...cold...Budweiser! before the opening pitch. #gododgers #cubswin

Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead.

@RealGrumpyCat "Could you guys keep it down?" —Fido

@regularcars That there's a 70-71 'cuda!

What is Monday’s car?

Trump calls BuzzFeed a “failing pile of garbage” which is wildly unfair as we are a succeeding pile of garbage.

Anderson Cooper: "THAT is sexual assault." 🔥 Trump: No, it's locker room talk

Checking in with social media to see who appears to be having a better life than me so I can dismiss them as soulless and opportunistic.

Guy who invented slotted screws & convinced ppl to use them: I hate you. My bloody knuckles & I are coming to find yer ass in the afterlife.

After Trump's penis claim, my thoughts and prayers are totally with the folks at Washington Post fact checker. @GlennKesslerWP @_cingraham

Enjoy this #BeautifulDead trailer I made featuring original music from the soundtrack. RT RT ► youtube.com/watch?v=G8JSMy… #Kindle #newrelease

@DarylBanner Björktember-fest 2015!

RT if you believe everyone is beautiful. youtube.com/watch?v=RDuFzD… #8bit #nintendo #chiptune #christinaaguilera

Outlier: Legacy is coming soon. Join the rebellion: #KindleUnlimited #mmromance #dystopian ► amzn.com/B00M1XUK7W/?ta…

Dear student loans, twitter.com/funnyortruth/s…