HIS MERUNESS

@CiruMuriuki Uko na loya auntie😂

Hii amejiandikia. Was probably up all night. 🤭

“It does not matter how old the cow is. The liver is always tender.” ~ Dr Muthomi Thionkulu, Professor of Butchery.

@willpower243 @MoraraKebaso You need a standing ovation of the middle finger Kadhee.

@MoraraKebaso It is done to protect bus operators,truck operators on and on if we build airports everywhere in the country and allow cargo ship to land there directly from factory, ships will stop working, truck owners won't have jobs and contracts These things are done for economic reason

Some things will take me forever to understand. Why does a 1 and a half hour flight from Nairobi to Dar Es Salaam cost Ksh. 40,000 to Ksh 50,000 yet a 24 hour flight from Nairobi to China is Ksh 75,000. What exactly is going on? Why does accomodation for one night at a four star hotel in Kenya cost Ksh 20,000 yet in China a four star hotel is Ksh 5,000 per night? Why do borrowers in Kenya pay an interest rate of 18% to 22% for loans yet in China the interest rate is 3%. How will a kenyan company that is borrowing to expand its manufacturing technology or equipment compete with a chinese company that is borrowing 1 billion dollars at 3%?

@scherargei Let me book mark this when Ruto goes home

The Presidential Retirement benefits act is crystal clear on the matters on Retirement benefits of a retired President . The only condition for accessing these benefits by a retired President is to be NON-ACTIVE in politics including being a political party leader. Rule of law is SUPREME. #mtetezi Blessed night.

@brendankirotee Wagite nthoni mono😂😂

I asked to go see my Ex on Friday.. He said hayuko karibu and he will be back on Sunday afternoon. I said No, because Monday is work day, nataka niamkie kwangu. Mechi zote za wikendi ziliuma nje, Sunday ikafika, I wanted to get laid so bad ndio Kasusu itulie 😭 He was the only option and I prayed he texts me aki, around 1 Pm He texted, played hard to get a little Packed vitu zangu and went to his house in Rongai. Tell me why round nne hakumwagaa? Ikifika time ya kumwaga,hakuna kitu ilikuwa inatoka. I realised kumbe alikuwa akidinyana the whole wikendi adi balls ziko dry 😭 Mimi nilipewa sababu ya huruma Once again that fucking piece of shit has used me 😭 I hate him fr fr.

@HonOscarSudi Sasa wewe unasoma gazeti na akili gani?

Gideon’s reasoning is as shallow as the pages of his own newspaper. Aache kutubeba ufala!!

@SomoinaKapeen 2 minutes later

Keensight Wamefanya kazi safi sana!! Give them all Your monies! Fencing na Surveillance!

@otienowill Rutonyahu

What do you call a thing that creates a problem then pretends to solve it?

@kenyanpundit Ngoja maandamano ubebe hiyo ya polisi ya kublock njia.

#MjengoTwitter recommendations for where to source barbed wire and chain link for a fence

Kama unarap about guns make sure umetoka sides za West Pokot

This is why you don’t rely on one route, a wise man secures Venezuela before Hormuz shuts down

Kuna huyu muungwana pale kitabu cha uso almaarufu Facebook aliandika maoni yake na ni kama yeye na editor wa Standard were aligned in Spirit. He wrote, “For the first time in history of the Republic of Kenya an ordinary man who was pronounced as so in the national parliament and senate walked into a Presidential function,took over and introduced however and whoever he wanted. He lectured the President,told the MC of the moment(Governor Kiarie to sit down and lower his mzegi) as if not in a hurry he quipped “who is it? is it you Badilisha standing behind me? kindly sit down, it cant be two of us standing. He even had time to introduce sms sent to him by women and church Bishops more like Paul writing or explaiming letters to the 7 churches. This ordinary villager even had the audacity to sing a song(just for his pleasure)! This same villager pulled some attack notes from his pockets to teach speaker of the national assembly standing orders then turned to where majority leader was sitted and told the president to tell majority leader he is not his Kihii Respect this man Gachagua!”

Huku washaleta watchman ako Na braces kwani wanataka kupandisha rent😭?

Tukiwa kwa mat alafu uanze kucheza temple run, ukikosea ata kama hatujuani ni mimi next.

the original ostrich was like " bro you're overdoing" 😂

I have seen this somewhere in Mpigi

Ten years later, I still don't know what Timmy TDat meant when he said, "Sir God generous kakujazia kaa diaper."

@ledamalekina I wonder who else had the same vision. Oh Konde boy had the same dream.

The day I become President of Kenya, I will rule with an iron fist against corruption, inefficiency, and negligence, while upholding the rule of law and serving the people with integrity. Kenyans deserve a government that delivers. I believe that many of the current ministers are letting the President down, prioritizing lining their own pockets over service delivery and that must change.

Mwenye alipeleka mama mboga out tumelala njaa venye ulitaka😂😭.

Sasa ulikua unataka aje na hujui kizungu