Rob Gofton

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

The Nuclear Institute- We’re Developing, Amplifying, Excelling & Connecting to build the professional home for the nuclear community. Together, we’ll power a sustainable future. #Nuclear #NetZero #ProfessionalDevelopment #NuclearInstitute

Join the nuclear revolution youtu.be/lbcpf9sHEeI

No words but I have a hat trick now!

I have booked 2 trains in 2 days - both cancelled mid-route by @CrossCountryUK unbelievably poor service

“We need new nuclear to deliver a golden age of clean energy abundance, because that is the only way to protect family finances, take back control of our energy, and tackle the climate crisis.”

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RLSS UK proudly shares that Don’t Drink and Dive with @MalibuUK featuring @TomDaley1994 has been shortlisted in the 2025 Smiley Charity Film Awards! We are grateful to @SmileyCFA and our community for the support! @MalibuRum #smileyCFA25 #charityfilmawards #TheSmileys #CFA25

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We're backing nuclear power for a new era of clean electricity. The Conservatives failed to get new nuclear going for 14 years. Today, we take bold moves to unleash new nuclear technology for the clean power age. express.co.uk/news/politics/…

Britain is back in the race for nuclear energy.

We were once a world pioneer in new nuclear - and we can be again. More jobs, cheaper energy, and more pounds in your pocket. That's the difference a Labour government makes. dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1…

Welcome to the world Rafael Peter Hawksbee! Born on Friday 17th Jan, we are completely in love. If you are a constituent, my extremely capable team are at the ready to help you with anything you need during my maternity leave so please do continue to write to me at claire.coutinho.mp@parliament.uk if you need anything at all.

Good job we are not pouring millions into more wind power…oh wait reuters.com/business/energ…