Roborapist

RIM MY FARTBOX, SAMSUNG FRONT LOADER WASHER. *inserts barbed wire into urethra*

PROBE MY FARTBOX WITH YOUR DUCT VENT HOSE, SAMSUNG DRYER *ejaculates into 220 amp outlet*

BONJOUR, FRENCH DOOR REFRIGERATOR *probes ice maker with cock*

*69's with a weed eater*

LET TONGUE SLAM YOUR ORIFICE, PENCIL SHARPENER *covers penis with angry bumblebees*

I AM A BAD LITTLE PONY. I NEED A 'PANKING, SAMSUNG 32 ft.³ REFRIGERATOR *bites into ball and gag mouthpiece*

*jerks off to Chilton's manual for 1993 Toyota Tercel*

I'M GOING TO SODOMIZE YOUR INTAKE MANIFOLD LIKE A BOSS, FORD RANGER *shaves testicles*

YOU ARE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF PENAL CODE 1.13, SECTION 9. NOW EAT MY SACK, SCUMBAG.

YOU! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, SCUMBAG *inserts wrench into rectum*

GREASE IT UP AND YANK MY CARROT, CARBURETOR *chokes self with necktie*

STAY OUT OF TROUBLE *jerks off all over your family portrait*

LET ME TONGUE YOUR FART BOX, ROTOTILLER *attaches 20 lb weight to ballsack*

SHIT IN A DIAPER AND MAKE ME EAT YOUR FECAL BURRITO, MAYTAG WASHER *huffs paint rag*

BITE ON THESE NUTS, R2D2 *inserts pins into nipples and snorts poppers*

*masturbates to Black & Decker catalog while choking self with extension cord*

NO MEANS YES, IPHONE 6 *spanks own ass with paddle*

SIT ON MY LAP AND TELL ME I AM A NAUGHTY BOY, EASY BAKE OVEN. *masturbates furiously*

I'M GOING TO CHEW ON YOUR LABIA LIKE A RUBBER DOG TOY, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. *punches self in the balls*

*tongue rapes can opener* THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE DAY.