Sam

actually he was just involved in a knife-related incident

two dollars

Also meant to post this from my art account, but again, fuck it. Follow me on everything @samsampaints and buy my art so I can afford an au pair or some shit to take care of my kid and let me sleep

Posting more weird shit on my tiktok, 10am on a Monday probably not the best time to get views but time means nothing with a newborn that hates sleep so fuck it- tiktok.com/t/ZTR37WAeB/

Posting more fun shit like this on my tiktok, follow me there @ samsampaints! tiktok.com/t/ZTR3tRMXx/

tiktok.com/t/ZTR35xQQY/ I crack myself up, follow me on tiktok for more amusing content than I post here! #art #spraypaint

I'm just the social media guy

My newest series is started, and available on my Etsy shop! The Animal Crackers series will broaden beyond these two animals, but these are the first completed works. Check em out! #art etsy.com/listing/141890…

I’d like to apologize for a twitter thread stating I authored Harry Potter, not JK Rowling. No character in the Harry Potter universe is named “Giuseppe Stromboli”, nor are there italians. Careless speech has real consequences. As Harry would NEVER say: that is a spicy meatball

I protect your right to wear clothes and makeup opposite of your gender at birth while singing and dancing to entertain an audience of two or more people.

This

The fuck you I quit generation will save us all

It will always be hilarious to me that the right’s key selling point is to stop cancel culture, yet they’ll whine incessantly and demand that M&Ms be punished for putting shoes on a cartoon candy.

Fucked up the score, meant to do $27 since it was 27-10 but sometimes I’m just wrong about stuff. I’ll keep the prices lower though!

To celebrate the bengals 23-10 victory over the bills, all completed #bengals paintings in my Etsy shop are $23 until the AFC championship game! Look what I found on Etsy: etsy.com/listing/137266… #burrow #chase #BetterSendThoseRefunds

Giant Egg Company: We raised egg prices by nearly 300% last year, our gross margin by over 500%, and our gross profits by over 1000% NYT/Vox Reporters: Got it. So we should blame skyrocketing egg prices on a minor avian flu outbreak that barely touched egg production, right?

Was that kicker throwing his helmet when he was throwing picks all season

Trying to turn a dollar into a dream