Sam Cornwall-Jones

@dragonjones having a cheeky one apparently #dragonsden

Went to a Coldplay gig a few years ago, can’t get the wristband off, it’s like it’s welded on. Every time they play it flashes incessantly, keeps me awake. I’m exhausted.

Type the year you turned 10 into a Twitter gif.

@yoghurteater Incorrect

@yoghurteater You’ve changed

@yoghurteater @ambergambler_ Wait you can mute words?!!

Seem to be blocking more accounts than ever at the moment - usually the creepy ones whose entire account is commenting on or retweeting nudes etc - made me wonder how big others blocklists are & what gets a block from you?

Hey @BorisJohnson, thought I’d do a survey to help you read the room. A simple question: Should Stanley Johnson (Boris Johnson’s father) receive a knighthood? Please retweet once you answer so that we can get as many responses as possible

Big coat weather.

6/11/1933-13/01/2023

This is my mum. She had a kidney transplant 25 years ago and they said it would last 5 years. She ain’t well and I love her so very much X x

David Beckham's 2nd son arrived at training for Brentford, he asked the coach "What number shirt am I?" The coach said "Wear four out there Romeo…”

I think I’ve been making Motown puns for about three years, four tops...

“He fucking slipped”

@NoContextBrits Chutney.

What is the most beautiful word in the English language?

@coffeekate2 Not even purdy to look at?

@Samseejay Yep. Three hours, 15 minutes I won’t get back.

We are the only people in the cinema 😱

You've heard of Elf on a shelf, now get ready for.....

@yoghurteater Again?!!

This must have been soooo bad?

@yoghurteater #TheTraitors right!!