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Dear Disney,
If you're staffing any new shows, please check out my amazing new sample.
Best,
Topher
Los Angeles, CA 🇺🇸 English
Topher Harless
3.6K posts
Topher Harless
@TopherHarless
I write jokes w @MorganEnglish_ that bother my fam. My therapist thinks I’m funny. Rep’d by [email protected]
Los Angeles California Se unió Temmuz 2008
667 Siguiendo958 Seguidores
Me: *Sneezes*
Teams: You are on mute, unmute yourself so people can hear you sneeze.
English
A few weeks ago, I overheard a young coworker ask another young coworker who “Reba” is because she’s getting a new tv show. The 2nd coworker replied, “I think she used to be a singer. Not sure why she’s getting a tv show.”
Now she’ll be, “the lady that sang at the Super Bowl.”
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@meganstags Can you send me a link to where I can purchase all of your NaNo novels?
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I’m at a #ZankouChicken waiting for an order and a man is arguing with the cashier about the difference between white and dark meat. People who work at restaurants should make that 1% kinda money. The patience required is nuts.
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@chrissyteigen I miss Milo’s so much. I wish they would build one in LA! However, you can buy their tea at Ralph’s now.
English
One of the best pandemic realizations I had was that you don’t need a HUGE reason to block or mute someone on social media. These days, I’m just blocking people I find mildly annoying. It’s great! You don’t owe random internet strangers your time or energy!
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Is this my last tweet?
If so….
Dad gum it, I can’t think of anything to say.
English
Claim your date with desire. Reply to this tweet with #AmericanGigolo and #ShowtimeGiveaway for your chance to receive a cocktail from Julian Kaye.
NoPurNec.18+VoidWhereProhib.Rules @ fooji.info/americangigolo
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Ya'll I feel so special right now.
wegotthiscovered.com/social-media/v…
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Topher Harless retuiteado
It’s time for a new season of #Barry tonight on @HBO! 🙌 Want to celebrate with a killer treat? If you're in NY or LA Tweet #Barry + #HBOgiveaway for your chance to win something special for the premiere! 🍩
NoPurNec.18+VoidWhereProhib.Rules@ fooji.info/barry
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Win a treat to enjoy during Bravo’s Top Chef by tweeting #TalentiTopChef + #Giveaway for a chance to win a FREE jar of Caramel Pretzel Blondie delivered to your door.
NoPurNec.18+VoidWhereProhib.Rules@https://fooji.info/talenti.
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I can’t achieve world domination without fuel to jumpstart my genius neural synapses! Tweet #DrRobotnik & #Sonic2Sweepstakes to sign up for a taste of power: MUSHROOM COFFEE! ☕️ (Must milk your own Austrian goat.) NoPurNec.18+VoidWhereProhib.Rules@ bit.ly/3tT81vZ
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@TopherHarless @ChexMix @CocaCola @totinos @TopherHarless Thanks for participating, your FREE Big Game kit is on its way! #biggamegiveaway #chexmixpromo #totinospromo
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LA, NYC, CHI, SF, CINCY 🗣 Tweet #biggamegiveaway + #chexmixpromo + #totinospromo for a chance to get a free Big Game Snack kit from @ChexMix, @cocacola, and @totinos delivered to your door.
NoPurNec18+VoidWhereProhib.Rules@ fooji.info/gm-rules
English