nicole foster

the sun will rise and we will try again

reading is a great hobby because it lets you bedrot with moral superiority

○ buying books because you love reading ○ buying books to support artists ◉ buying books to feel something, then hoarding them like a dragon guarding its unread treasure.

if you start reading books again you will feel at least a little better. i promise

some books you are meant to buy and have sit on your shelf until the version of you who is meant to read it is born. i’ll always support buying an insane amount of books.

@purpleabbiie makes me wish i persevered when i applied a few years back, i simply didn’t have the capacity to fight though as i was so unwell! exactly what they hope for ugh but congrats, im so glad they’ve finally listened 💜

they’re awarding me PIP 😭 war is over

i’m so scared what does this mean

When you start reading, life becomes bearable again. No matter what you are going through, you’ll be reminded that other humans have felt what you feel, and written about it. You will learn that you are part of a world far bigger and brighter than the darkness in your mind.

anyway it’s okayyyyyyyy. sometimes you just wanna chill out and not use a three step workbook process before you can trust that your feelings mean something or you just want to know your good feelings aren’t some weird magical thinking fantasy-based brain chemical flood

when people say “trust your gut” i know i can’t take that to heart because my gut feelings are so often disproportionate or wrong, or misfiring. my nervous system isn’t reasonable. i can’t just trust my gut. if i did all the time i’d be a very destructive and impossible person

can never fully let go…. have to always be cautious about taking my emotions seriously…. interrogate them… have tools to keep them managed and help me act “right” even though i only know it’s right from a logical standpoint and “right” often doesn’t feel right. or natural

it’s fine and it’s cool and it’s good but it’s a lot of work all the time and you can never just, like, decide it’s fine to be lazy about it or everything gets really bad again. really quickly. it’s just tiring to have to white knuckle through it all the time i think

i know it’s just what it is but occasionally i do get very sad about the fact that i can’t just will my brain into being normal, and that i have to work really hard to be mentally healthy and relate to others… and myself… in a positive and healthy way. or even in an Okay way

@Debbie8t5 thank you and don’t worry, I’m trying to access CMHT support for other issues currently anyway. So planned to park ED services until I’ve finished with those. It’s just a shame they’re posting this when the BMI criteria exists still!

@_nicfstr Typical and misleading of CONNECT, unfortunately miscommunication was their forte when I was under them. I'm sorry if my post put your hopes up.

The Eating Disorder services i was under have made some big and welcome changes. The most important to me being the removal of BMI barriers. I was initially rejected by the service for being "not low enough" and later rejected again for being "too low" a BMI.

@Debbie8t5 They read my comment on facebook and have updated the post now to say this! I have asked if the BMI criteria I was told by my GP still exists. Thank you. I’m not going to try access their service anymore, I was in it years ago and found it really triggering so going to try solo

@_nicfstr I would go back to your GP and check. Also have you been referred to Link ED, sometimes they'll accept patients before then being referred onto Connect. #referral" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/our-services/e…

still on cloud 9 from my hen party, feel so lucky to have the friends that i do !! bring on the wedding 🥺🥺🫶🏼

From compulsive over exerciser, struggling with anorexia aged 17 to running a half marathon aged 27. Grateful I now have a good relationship with my body and food, and can do challenging things for fun! #anorexiarecovery

Your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Someone still laughs when they think of that funny thing you said. Someone still smiles when they think of the compliment you gave them. Someone silently admires you. The advice you give has made a difference for people.

lowkey my friends have loved me longer than i have loved myself and i just think that’s beautiful

i never tweet anymore, but had to document this moment truly feel excited by every wedding conversation that arises, which is a wonderful feeling as i’m a natural stressor life feels so right 🫶🏼

@fran3tic I’m sorry to hear this. She will have her toolkit from her first bout of treatment to fall back on which is huge even if it may not feel like it right now. As someone who had 3 big relapses, i also found with age I became more resilient because I knew what I wanted to fight for💗

My 19 year old d is struggling to stay well, with zero support. I just found out that the award winning specialist ED unit we sent her to which saved her has closed. This bill terrifies me. We need to care for patients so they can live, before we start assisting them to die.