daithfenny

A girl texted me today asking why my number was in her mans phone and told me his name and I’m like okay I don’t know him ??? TURNS OUT I did call her man WHEN I WAS DELIVERING HIM A PIZZA EARLIER THIS WEEK 😂😭😂 imagine getting heated bc papa johns called your man

First they came for the em dash and I did not speak out. Then they came for the Oxford comma…

do you think the twelve apostles were friends or was it more of a coworker situation.

why is 7x7 = 49 so fucking hot

I'm glad we could come to a misunderstanding

trust me i actually know everything i just can’t form a coherent sentence

Doing vape tricks for the Amish

Don’t ever send me a code to my email

Door dashing a chicken patty sandwich from a middle school

Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location

bro please can i bum a toy off of you i havent played in like 6 hours bro

will never forget the girl i hooked up with who had peanut shells all over her bedroom floor like it was Texas Roadhouse. i think we could’ve built a really scary life together

high as fuck and my gf wont stop pretending to make notification sounds . So fuckin g scarwd right now

YES IM STILL AT THE CLUB MOM

im not a grower or a shower but a third more sinister thing

I can’t talk here. Email me

You have such a way with worms

It used to be March 1st it really did

I bet the honeymoon period of joining a cult is fucking awesome