Clit T. Bird

Dick for dinner again?

Honestly, I haven’t ever been with a man that’s not weird or crazy and I used to think it’s because I was picking them, but now I actually think it’s because I’m so hot and amazing that they’re losing their minds.

He’s lying, i saw him eat those soap nuts.

@gapingdokus Don’t lie, I saw u eat those soap nuts.

I’m psychic bleeding so hard rn

Oh no, you’re not thinking of wearing your fuck me pumps and an ankle brace again are you ?

Precious cream

Saved to drafts = saved my relationships

I am the hardest fish to catch

Give those udders a good tuggin Right on dem nubbins

Grappling with my gremlins

I brought a bag of my spluids for u

@yuheah That’s his child tho

I just saw a man on the street take a chicken out of a dog crate and place it into a wheelchair??????

I’m sorry my ass is fat. I’m sorry I’m so fucking kind. I didn’t want it to be like this :((

@gapingdokus Esophagus Titan

One of my fave things in old timey cartoons is seeing ants steal stuff from a picnic

If they talk behind your back? Fart

WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME??? I ALREADY HAVE A FAT ASS!! THATS A BURDEN!!

@gapingdokus @MissGrimace Clear that butt throat

Judy Frogface balloon anus

@gapingdokus Oh no there’s crabs in there !

@gapingdokus Thouise