James Dutton

@JulianDutton1 Can’t wait! 😊

Finished writing next book. Hurrah! Out in the summer.

@100Climbs Always struggled to get a signal with mine.

Come on Ffs. 10 mins, there must be one satellite out there.

@Meteorologene hei, noe litt feil med hvordan 21-dagers varsel ser ut i appen. Den tredje uken (uke 1, 2025) viser først, deretter uke 51 og 52…😊

🎄In a jangle of shop-bell, Dutton's Christmas bookstore is now open. Feel free to browse. From history to humour, fiction to travel, each book a perfect gift. Free mulled wine for every customer. Quick-links to buy here: 🎁 linktr.ee/juliandutton

@MyMarlowUK @JulianDutton1 I can just imagine Mrs Howlett out of shot…scene of my greatest triumph, winning five pence for the best poem - “Snippy Snappy Crocodile” 😊

@JulianDutton1 @jdutton69 I had the fortune of being at Sandygate, Holy Trinity and Borlase with him. Just couldn't shake him off, still can't to this day😉😂

My old school. This is the very classroom - in 1910 - in which I stood up aged 9 and recited Spike Milligan's In the Land of the Bumbly Boo.

@MrJamesMay Very proud to have played in the Scots Guards for over twenty years…this was always the high point of the year, playing at the Cenotaph, and the Festival of Remembrance.

Britain’s military bands are absolutely top.

@100Climbs Only giant in the land of the Lilliputians! 😂

Giant MY ARSE.

Today's auction of Council Memorabilia was a triumph! The biro I used to repeal the death penalty in Chadwell in 1986 went for £23,000, the Council Rack (last used in 2018) sold for £48,000, and the underpants I wore when I met Anne Widdecombe brought in a whopping £8.2 million.

@Jamesh8 @TalkingPicsTV My father helped make that - he worked at LWT from its foundation til 1987 😊

I’m currently greatly enjoying this 1977 LWT TV drama, based on the H E Bates novel (known also for Darling Buds of May). Highly recommended. Courtesy of @TalkingPicsTV

Do check out @JulianDutton1's SHAKESPEARE'S JOURNEY HOME—a really remarkable book in the crowded field of Shakespeareana. And here's my review for @EuroConOfficial, if you missed it! europeanconservative.com/articles/revie…

Please feel free to buy this. I haven't eaten for a week.* amazon.co.uk/dp/1399991612?… (*Just a little sales technique I'm trying out. 'Pluck at their heartstrings, Julian!' my agent told me).

A human hand holding my new book. Are you a human? Do you have a hand? This could be you. Do not miss out. Kindle version only £3.99 for 2 weeks. Namaste. amazon.co.uk/dp/1399991612?…

Many of you are Kindling my new book like laugh-hungry beavers, for which I am ecstatic. Enter the merry world of Councillor Rowan Copernicus Battley @CllrBattley for a mere £3.99, my pretties. amazon.co.uk/My-Town-Rules-…

Ok, I fess up, I was inspired by A.J. Wentworth. Give me a break will you? What does a man have to do to make a living? 'Hilarious!' - Count Arthur Strong. 'A glorious pastiche of Little Napoleons,' - Simon Evans. Snap it up here, my pretties! amazon.co.uk/dp/1399991612?…

Tickled pink by this insightful review of my book on Shakespeare by the European Conservative journal @EuroConOfficial by @Prof_Cooper. Worth checking out the entire journal, the quality of writing and range of articles is magnificent. europeanconservative.com/articles/revie…

@100Climbs Someone needs to rent a steamroller…

Just been out in The Strines. RIP those beautiful super smooth roads. Such a shame.

@JulianDutton1 A finer fedora has never graced the boards…

My God I was versatile as a novice thespian. You want a drunken American sailor? - by God I'll give you a drunken American sailor. Unrecognisable. I became known as the Lon Chaney of SW3. I even played a hat in An Inspector Calls at the Theatre Royal, Lincoln. Happy days.

A huge thank you to everyone who has bought my new book. 'A joyful book, best enjoyed on railway journeys, the fireside corners of rural pubs, the quiet lounges of seaside boarding houses, and in toilets,' - The Toilet Gazette. 'A lovely pocket book of humour to brighten the cloudiest of days. Plus several mentions of horses, which was a boon,' - Horse & Hound. 'Mr. Battley is a wonderful creation. His blissful indifference to modern Britain, his uninhibited predilection for random acts of public nudism, single him out from most local government officials I have met,' - Janette Krankie. I shall be signing copies in Waterstones Carmarthen soon, but if you can't get to the wilds of West Wales please drop me a DM and I shall send a signed bookplate for you to stick in the front of your copy and treasure for the rest of your life. For a hassle-free purchase experience, simply click here, lie back on an eiderdown of contentment, and we'll do the rest. Namaste. amazon.co.uk/dp/1399991612...

Thank you Professor. See folks? Mr. Battley's Diaries are already being appreciated in the echelons of academia. Mr. Battley has arrived. @CllrBattley amazon.co.uk/dp/1399991612?…

In the parlance of modern youth, my new book 'drops' today, my brethren! For a feast of summer chuckles, dip into the diaries of Britain's Widest Councillor, @CllrBattley. 'Hilarious! So good I'll be using half of it in my next show,' - Count Arthur Strong. amazon.co.uk/dp/1399991612?…