Jonney Cox

Keir Starmer enters through Jeremy Clarkson’s back door, but Clarkson won’t let him into the pub. Luckily, James May is on hand to assist. {satire}

The current state of the Royal Navy: 2 aircraft carriers — neither operational. 6 Type 45 destroyers (our most powerful warships) — one operational (in Cyprus). 7 Type 23 frigates (less powerful, much older) — three operational 5 Astute class nuke-powered subs — one operational (in Arabian Sea?). Surely those responsible for this appalling state of unreadiness (a national embarrassment if ever there was one)— political, civilian and military — should be fired/charged. Their incompetence has effectively left us without a navy. Quite an achievement for an ancient island nation.

What a result. What a performance. What an atmosphere. WHAT a day at Hill Dickinson Stadium. 💙

Hi @Ed_Miliband if we also serve uncooked food with our warm beer, does that mean we don’t have to add VAT? Asking for some friends…

Would like thank @Ed_Miliband for saving thousands of pubs today with the answer to all our woes…we just serve warm beer!! Why in all our years of experience did we never think that we could just turn the cellar cooling and fridges off to mitigate being taxed the shit out of!

It is good to see that Acorn Brewery is once again in the spotlight with its fantastic Barnsley Bitter, a traditional Yorkshire bitter classic. Good luck at the national BeerX Beer Competition next week. beerguild.co.uk/news/acorn-bar…

Can someone tell me what I’m actually paying for? My latest council tax bill has arrived. £330 a month. For what? We still have to pay extra just to have the garden waste collected. The roads are knackered, the drains are blocked, and every time it rains the streets flood. The local town is now devoid of shops because business rates and parking charges have made it almost impossible to trade and expensive for people to visit. So where is the money going? Councils spend tax revenue on vanity projects like cycle lanes that might see a bike once a decade and disability parking bays that sit empty most of the time. Meanwhile the services we actually rely on continue to decline. We are expected to pay more and more for less and less. And at the same time we all see public money being spent on people who entered this country illegally and have never contributed. So I’ll ask again. What exactly are we paying for? The whole system is broken.

This is misinformation from Reeves. The UK government could lower energy bills tomorrow by reducing the 78% tax on extra profits of oil and gas companies. And scrapping carbon levies, Net Zero contributions, and renewable subsidies on your bills! They could fix it … they just won’t.

Repost!🙌🏼

If Nando’s, KFC, Wagamama and Popeyes are going to go back on their (piddling) chicken welfare undertakings because it’s making a teeny dent in their massive profits, they might as well use slaves to save on wages. Fat lazy punters still wouldn’t boycott. thetimes.com/article/bfdd55…

"Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important." ~ T.S. Eliot

The great glory of the six nations is that xactly 2 weeks ago Borthwick was dreaming of a Slam and Townsend was arguably facing the sack...... and now Townsend is dreaming of the championship and Borthwick is probably one defeat away from the bullet #sixnations

@nantwichnews @Starbucks Why on earth are council officials giving such fanfare to the opening of a coffee shop that’s parent company avoids paying any tax in the UK on turnover of over £500m?!?!?!

NANTWICH: New @Starbucks coffee shop opens its doors in Nantwich town centre today - but will it impact independents? LATEST HERE thenantwichnews.co.uk/2026/02/13/new…

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph Buy a print of my cartoons at telegraph.co.uk/mattprints Original artwork from chrisbeetles.com

LATEST: Cash-strapped @CheshireEast bid to hike up council tax by a massive 10% REJECTED by Government thenantwichnews.co.uk/2026/02/10/che…

Margaret Thatcher on the socialist ideology hating freedom. “Socialists just don't like ordinary people choosing, for they might NOT choose Socialism." BOOM 💥 and here we are AGAIN!

Waking to the news that the media believe Angela Rayner will be PM? A reminder, only 15,500 people even voted for her to be an MP. This is the hard left woman who told a nation every single part of the UK must take its “fair share” Things will get even worse under Ange 💣