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Overheard at Panera: I’m just saying, would you be able to walk straight after a roll over accident? #tiger #fairs

@sackchiller Funniest tweet I’ve seen in a minute bro 😂

Tiger Woods next week

@miiagarro Tarik with Janine in Abbot Elementary season 1 😭

i look at some of y'all relationships like yeah the car keeping them together

@ollgLari7 A gentleman and a scholar!

Joe Burrow you’re a gentleman ✨ 😻

there’s a deeper meaning here. lol

@Complex Why are we privy to this information 😭

@rabidiism @reebarzy The hashtag is killing me 😭

@reebarzy dallas next week i’m claiming it #watchthisspace

@Jbrooksthethird This is an insane string of words 😭

Even in the fog of war, a tank is visible

@1337sammy They announced AT my high school graduation that they were building a new high school. Basically just soft launched that our taxes are going up for a futuristic building I never got to use 🫩

type of shit your university builds when you're about to graduate

Mind you, there have been 2 more penalties since tweeting this…

Why is everyone and their mother in the penalty box right now 😭#njdevils #nhl #bruins

@MeghansMole I love her but she was doing a bit too much all night 😬

Teyana Taylor almost tackling Paul Thomas then nearly getting into it with someone claiming “they touched her” #Oscars

Timmy getting roasted by Conan then Misty Copeland coming out during the sinners tribute 😭 #Oscars

@SalvMattera I am in that group and it’s crazy im crying 😭

It can always get worse

@S0L4RFL4RE I needed this wake up call

when you think so little of yourself it is hard to imagine you are capable of causing great harm bc u basically don’t even think u matter. so u commit cruel actions and never recognize them as such.

@PubWanghaf What is his problem 😭

When you see your au pair out in public and try to kill your wife by subtly pushing her into traffic

@collinstimbela_ Or find a file he just saved. I swear the worst rage bait I ever experienced was trying to submit a Word doc I had just spent hours writing and could not find it for 40 minutes on the file finder. I was RAGING 😡

Make the Microsoft CEO search for an email on Outlook live on camera

@1ssve Andy Dwyer found out you burn calories by moving and started punching the air and listing off the foods he ate. I don’t think that’s the answer but it makes me laugh at the gym thinking I am burning specific foods 😂

weight loss is such a funny concept cause where does it go

I got atheist shooters they gon blasphemy

Joe Mazzulla is day-to-day on the injury report of life 😁 via @ZoandBertrand