Jim Hacker MP

In medieval Germany (before 1200), it was legal for husbands and wives to settle their disputes by fighting with clubs, but to make it fair the husband had to stand in a waist-deep hole.

@BBCSport announces "love move" for Ziyech... #proofreading

A man walks into his psychiatrist's office and claims he suffers from CDO. His doctor looks puzzled and asks what he means. It's like OCD but everything has to be in alphabetical order!

The Road to Nowhere... by the Divine Comedy! youtu.be/dlPc2xOnKJc

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

Ally McCoist: "He makes some inane comments, he really does." #PORURU #ITVFootball

No Joking!

Man of Constant Sorrow. youtu.be/EuJ8xEByUf4

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon) —Robert L Truesdell

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

"I can't even be bothered to be apathetic these days" - Will Duggan

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it.” - Groucho Marx

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.” - Stephen Bishop