𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐣𝐨𝐲.

rage is a quiet thing. well， you think that you've tamed it but it's just lying in wait. rage， is it in my veins? i feel it in my face when when i least expect it.

no , maybe not . but i know what she expects of me . what you expect of me . i know that . i’ll also hate myself if they never know that i’m sorry .

i know that . i love her too . no , but you know i’ll have to . i could lose both that way . i don’t want that .

and i refused to go with her . why would she want anything to do with me now ? so you do want me to choose . between yara and my brothers. how am i meant to do that ?

its not so much being treated like a hostage than feeling like one . it doesn’t matter how kind he was , knowing i was their prisoner sort of dampened the experience for me . great , so i’d just be disappointing her .

you don’t know him like i do . father let them take me hostage without a second thought . does that scream honourable to you ? what would it look like for us if i chose them ?

you’ve never met him . there is no man more honourable than him . then who do i ask for guidance ?

and honour . ned would cut off any head if they were not honourable . i more than passed that line . then which one do i choose ?

no one except for the starks whom i betrayed , the people who i allowed to be murdered . i want to please both .

is it really that easy ? i’ve betrayed the starks and father was never fond of me . perhaps i’m neither now . how is that possible ? how do i please both ?

i don’t know , maybe . i have trouble deciding which standards to hold myself to these days .

so if i kneeled , what would i be then ?

is blood all that determines who we are ?

we’re quite stubborn , aren’t we ?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀your screams make my heart smile .