Harry Whit

Just had my council tax bill through and it's gone up *considerably*. Also had to pay extra for my green waste, again. It immediately reminded me of this masterpiece.

@JBTHEPLUG1 @laura_woodsy

Gun pointed at your head, name a wood.

@KatoePotat0 Sent fr :)

Looking for 50 new friends to send and receive gifts, I play daily and am happy to go for forever friends ☺️ 490857890058 #PokemonGO #PokemonGOfriends

Restore Britain's latest policy paper has just been released - abolishing inheritance tax. For farmers, for small businesses, for everyone. Restore Britain would abolish all inheritance tax. assets.nationbuilder.com/restorebritain…

tf that got to do with me

Wait for the chorus 😳

Among the people who don't get enough recognition for their contributions to gaming history, I often think Chris Sawyer falls into that group. There was a time when I couldn't wait to get home, disappear into my room, and build the most awesome roller coaster park. What Sawyer created with RollerCoaster Tycoon will forever be part of iconic gaming history. He developed the game more or less by himself (insane skill!), a pretty rare feat in 1999 when big studios and large teams were the norm. Sawyer coded the original in assembly language, creating realistic coaster physics, guests with individual needs, and - of course - chaos like vomiting or ride breakdowns. The sweet "ka-ching" of fees lives rent-free in my head. What an absolutely brilliant sandbox-like game, with practically endless replay value, similar to games like Sim City or Civilization.

@max__young She'll be terribly shocked if she ever watches The Chase to the end ...

Well done wee man 👏👏👏

“Genuine question… If someone is claiming benefits and is able to work, is it really unreasonable to ask them to do a few hours a week helping the community? Even something simple like litter picking or cleaning up local parks.” What are your Thoughts?

If your day revolves around staying indoor all day and doom scrolling, and you have this urge to try something different. here's a list of things you should consider doing Check Thread 🌚❤️

For those of you that don't already know, I have been admitted into hospital and they are keeping me in. I have only gone and poisoned myself. What I thought was a large spring onion turned out to be a daffodil bulb. They said I should be out sometime in the spring.

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary, I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator. I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme. Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate. I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave. You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise. Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount. For £35,000 I will:    •   Leave quietly.    •   Not require a press conference.    •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.    •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport. I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme. Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus. Who knew? While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes. May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue. In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on. If successful, I promise to:    •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).    •   Not stage a protest on the runway.    •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice. All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV. Yours in hopeful relocation, A slightly confused taxpayer

@Nigel_Farage Before we start bombing yet more countries, I suggest you go to Clacton and LOOK AROUND. That money is needed here, in Britain, spent on British people. That’s what Restore Britain is all about. British interests first, every time.

Tottenham fighting for their life to stay in the Premier League. Meanwhile Kane:

None of us want to listen to somebody else’s music on the tube, a train, a bus, wherever it is. We certainly don’t want to listen to some nonsense phone call on loudspeaker. Rude. Disruptive. And yes, un-British. We all hate it. I certainly do. A small issue, but it’s one that perfectly represents the continued erosion of our high-trust society. We have shared social standards that make public life tolerable and civilised. I’m largely of the view that people can do whatever the hell they like, as long as it doesn’t affect others. This affects others. Restore Britain believes that public transport should be a space governed by basic courtesy and mutual respect. We will introduce a clear national rule: audio played on personal devices on public transport must be listened to through headphones. We will give stronger powers to transport staff for them to intervene, fine repeat offenders and if necessary remove them from the vehicle. Conductors and guards will be given proper protection in the law to help prevent any anti-social or aggressive behaviour against them. I suspect our programme of mass deportations will help to solve this problem... Because I want our high-trust society back. And we can get it back. This is about restoring basic standards of public behaviour. A small minority has been allowed to degrade shared public spaces without consequence, while the quiet majority simply sit and endure it. Most British people are too polite to say anything about it. There is now a political party that will stand up for the quiet, decent majority. Restore Britain.

Fair and sensible

Any tickets for Spurs tomorrow? Need 2 if poss!

my heart breaks for that 18 year old girl who gave an interview post-practice about being so excited to be an olympian only for a truly disturbing amount of grown men talking about her in a rancid vile hypersexualised way... we all need to get more feminist now it's not funny

@anne_hegerty @KaylaMidwinter

The Chase is going on the road and ITV are looking for fun, confident and quick-thinking duos to take part. To be in with the chance of winning a huge cash prize-apply now! Link in picture! #castingcall #nowcasting #applynow #ITVcasting #ITV #thechase