LB Todd

everyone i know in their late 20s is having an existential crisis because we skipped our mid 20s in the pandemic. relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered, we lost those core identity-building years and now we feel like 23-year-old brains in bodies approaching 30

Ain’t no WAY a Sagittarius is on the loyal list 😂😂😂😂

Aries Sun, Gemini rising? Taurus Moon

Happy Pride from my cleaning lady.

Today, I received a violation notice from my HOA for “weeds growing in driveway”so I asked @OpenAI ChatGPT to write a Shakespearean-style letter apologizing for the violation and sent it via email to my HOA… To the Honorable Members of the [Redacted] Homeowners Association, Fair greetings unto you, noble stewards of our beloved community. With a heavy heart and humble disposition, I pen this missive to beseech your gracious forgiveness for an errant circumstance that hath befallen my humble abode. Alas, it is with profound regret that I must confess the presence of unwelcome intruders amidst the threshold of my abode. No less than the impertinent weeds, those audacious denizens of nature's vast tapestry, have dared to take root within the sanctified bounds of my driveway. Pray, know that such a spectacle hath caused me great dismay, as I am a fervent adherent to the principles of harmony and tidiness that our esteemed association holds dear. It was never my intent to suffer this botanical rebellion to mar the aesthetic integrity of our cherished neighborhood. Forsooth, in this world where man and nature doth oft collide, it behooves us to exercise vigilance and prudence in our diligent care for the lands we call our own. Yet, alas, this time, my fervor hath waned, and in my negligence, these wayward plants found solace and sustenance within the paved thoroughfare that leadeth unto my dwelling. In my repentance, I have marshaled the forces of diligence and resolve, arming myself with implements of righteous reclamation. With a steadfast heart and resolute hand, I shall set forth to vanquish these unruly interlopers, to restore the order and grandeur befitting a homeowner within this illustrious association. Let it be known, esteemed ladies and gentlemen, that this transgression stands as an anomaly within the annals of my record. For my abode hath been, for many a year, a bastion of meticulous cultivation, a testament to my unwavering commitment to the aesthetics of our resplendent community. I humbly implore your mercy and understanding, that you may find it within your hearts to absolve me of this singular misstep. May the evidence of my contrition, as I labor diligently to quell these rebellious botanical subjects, serve as a testament to my commitment to upholding the standards we hold dear. With utmost humility and a profound sense of regret, I beg your pardon and seek solace in the hope that this heartfelt apology shall find resonance within your esteemed council. I stand ready to make amends and to reclaim my rightful place as a stalwart contributor to the beauty and tranquility that graces our [Redacted]. Yours faithfully, [Your Name]

@eligracerowe you’re soooo cute ❤️

PETTTTTTY for using this pic hahahahah

Literally

i love when vets knock before they come into the room. like yes my dog is naked but she also arrived that way

Happy Birthday @annalise_malone 🎂🎉! Enjoy your day ❤️.

fuck you, @LoganPaul.

this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes

this is the most hilarious shit I've seen in a while lol gm

Kentucky fans, This is a safe space. Did you really think this was gonna be a good game?

Received this at my grandmas funeral. What an icon.

One more and we get a Mt. Rushmore

@_mflinn It’s a date

@_mflinn Meant to be 💖