Bogan Developer 🇦🇺

What’s the most Aussie problem you encountered in software development?

PSA: Nobody gives a shit that it’s your last day after many long years and you’re looking forward to a new chapter in your career

I never wish my team a merry christmas just so they know we are not a fuckin’ family

Driving a Tesla now means you hate Twitter

Java.time needs to add `.cutla` as a time convenience method. Never know when you’re gonna be a cutla minutes before execution.

Elon wants engineers working all weekend? Mate I hardly work during the week

How do I give peer feedback to a workmate when I want to say they’re a lazy bastard in a politically-correct way?

Stop bloody asking if people can see your screen Every app literally indicates which screen is being fuckin shared

My only king is still the great Dan Murphy

“I encourage others to challenge my proposed changes to the architecture” = “Disagree with me and I’ll say nothing but I ain’t forgetting that shit dickhead”

Remember when they said we’d all be doing gig work and renting out our cars when not in use. Fuck that no one’s touching my damn car

TIL: People actually sit down and read technical books. When they start quoting Fowler on beer caps I might consider it.

The best bloody thing about WFH is no random drug testing

The only reason I don’t wanna be an Engineering Manager is because people will expect me to be retweeting Simon Sinek quotes all day

Interest rates should also go up on tech debt

I'm waiting for the day every Twitter account must follow Elon and we can't Unfollow

The best part of my day is when I go in and disagree with everyone on every minor point. Job well bloody done if you ask me.

I don’t see why I can’t write in my performance review goals that I want to be shunned by the Functional Programming cult

The only Travelling Salesman Problem I’m interested in is how to optimise the Dan Murphy’s delivery drivers route to my place

@CFDevelop Ensure employees do not live near any bus routes. Ensure the office isn’t near any bus routes. If possible, co-locate employees in the place where they live and work. This reduces your bus factor to zero and allows you to have individual people owning 100% of a codebase.

What's the most important #SoftwareEngineering principle?

Maybe someday