Charles Cabbage

THE END.

Cheesecake, pizza, potato chips, bagels, double bacon cheeseburgers, donuts, ice cream, bacon, chocolate bars, french fries, cheese dog 💀

Anyone that has push notifications for social media turned on is a narcissist.

Brb, I'm micro-managing the universe.

Fucking is a long way to go for a hug.

Your existence is a trigger.

Last one to die is a rotten egg.

If it wasn't for capitalism there would be no Whole Foods.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are the highlights of my day.

While you're busy describing yourself in three fictional characters the world is falling apart around you.

Brb, remembering the things I should be forgetting and forgetting the things I should be remembering.

The best way to deal with emotionally challenging situations is to imagine the people involved as inanimate objects.

1, 2, 3, 4, fuck you 5, 6, omg I'm dying 7, 8, 9, I'm just gonna pretend 10

En route to a nice dinner and a show and I'm having a panic attack in the back seat but the driver doesn't know.

The only one that's invited to my pity party is me.

The impending doom of having to socialize is not going well.

Fuck mercury in retrograde, I feel like shit all the time.

Subtle dread and unrequited loneliness are my two best friends.

ice-cream cone > self esteem

"I'm back bitches," said my ego.