SuperHappyTalkTime

Hey. Why the fuck did Harry get to name the children. I mean fuck Ginny right? 1) James Sirius Potter. Ok. It’s your dad. I get it. But Sirius? You knew him for like two years? He was kind of a selfish prick. He got depressed when Harry didn’t get expelled.

If you’re one of those people that clap loudly during a sports game when you’re in public. Fuck you.

I hope that Clarence’s parents still have a real nice marriage.

The song “What a Wonderful World” must be very confusing for color blind people. The trees are gray, gray roses too.

@RealRonJeremy @erection2020 @cnnbrk @latimes @ConanOBrien We still think you need to run for office with @TheRock #TheRockandRockHard

Hey YOU! You know how you are not going to vote in this election? That’s not cool. “It doesn’t make a difference” YES IT DOES!! This is the most important midterm of your lifetime. It will make the most difference. It’s up to you to #RockTheVote ! #vote #november6

AHHHHH!!!! 🎃💰🥃🍻💯🎤 Now that I've got your attention! Episode 2 out tomorrow at 4pm on SoundCloud! Pop a squat on the couch, open up RBarspective and finish your candy off 👍 Link coming tomorrow

Today I lost one of my best friends. I am the one who found him. Every year we spend the weekend together for his birthday. He said this was the best year ever. I will miss him every day. Rest In Peace Daddy D. #DennisHof @DennisHof

#IfMyNameHadADefinition It would be OrdinarySadSilentEnding

@toddbarry There is no way you have a personal assistant. Do you mean caretaker? #FuckToddBarry

Oh man. I just asked my personal assistant to create a rundown. I guess she can take the day off!

Never thought we would see #horseface trending if it wasn't about Sarah Jessica Parker, although I guess it does have to do with Sex and the City...

Sad to see Dennis Hof go, a legend by our book and standards. At least we can expect a brothel in Heaven now.

Yo. Our intern Tyler has his own big boy podcast. He’s not quite as funny as us, but you can listen to him instead of committing credit card fraud. So there’s that. Follow him @RBarspective

@vegan Sounds like pigs should’ve thought ahead and evolved into a species with thumbs. Poor planning on their ancestors part.

Should an industry be allowed to exist if it's unable or unwilling to adequately safeguard its animals and the environment in an impending hurricane? msn.com/en-us/news/us/…

What's the difference between a rock and an ostrich? Probably something scientific and has to do with electrons or something. How would we know? #science

We saw a documentary one time where if you throw an egg during a hurricane or tornado, and the egg goes through a rock, you should probably get the fuck out of there.

Is this ripped T-Shirt too fancy? #StupidQuestionsAtWalmart

@RealRonJeremy Well, you only got the three of us beat by like 3,970.

I’m not sure. I know that it’s documented that there’s at least 4000 on film but I would guess at least four times that in real life.

Controversial!?!? Babe. You wish. There are only two types of people in this world - those who want to sit on my face and liars.

Hey @RealRonJeremy, hope you're doing well. Send us a bottle of your rum and we will mention you every chance we get doing anything for the rest of our lives.

How do you work your way up the list to be asked to join a threesome? #AskingForAFriend