Quipping the Life Sarcastic 👽🛸
15.7K posts

Quipping the Life Sarcastic 👽🛸
@SubstCreature
👽🛸 author of awful puns; lightbulb in the wind. Misery let me down. Autistic. Experiencer. My log does not judge, but no nazis need apply.
Central PA शामिल हुए Temmuz 2020
4.4K फ़ॉलोइंग880 फ़ॉलोवर्स
पिन किया गया ट्वीट

@atrupar …you realize what that says about the imbeciles he surrounds himself with.
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@SubstCreature @DislykReality @queenie4rmnola Because they’re usually mentally ill or socially maladjusted people from a abit culture/upbringinf
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We don't often talk about the psychological harm of mass incarceration, but we should.
The Net Daily@TheNetDaily
Bro dreamed he was free… then woke up back inside prison
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@hlovo_ At least she had the bare minimum level of decency to ask about recording in that woman’s shop, but perhaps she could’ve done so at the jump.
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@lilianadeteresa Desperate people aren’t necessarily bad people.
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Robó un coche y se dio cuenta de que en el asiento trasero había un bebé de cuatro meses, lo que convirtió un simple delito en una de las anécdotas más insólitas de la crónica policial de Oregón. En vez de entrar en pánico y escapar a toda prisa para deshacerse de la evidencia, este ladrón de Beaverton mostró tener un código moral bastante retorcido: dio la vuelta y regresó al lugar del robo. Lo más sorprendente no fue solo que devolviera al pequeño sano y salvo, sino la actitud que adoptó al encontrarse con la madre. Lejos de mostrar arrepentimiento por el hurto, el hombre se bajó del vehículo para darle un auténtico sermón, reprendiendo severamente a la mujer por haber dejado al niño solo con el motor encendido. Tras asegurarse de que su “lección de crianza” había quedado clara y que el menor estaba seguro, volvió a subir al coche y huyó definitivamente. Aunque la policía inició de inmediato la búsqueda del sospechoso por el robo del vehículo, el incidente quedó registrado como un caso en el que la lógica criminal se entrelazó de manera absurda con un sentido de responsabilidad civil. Al final, el ladrón optó por arriesgar su libertad antes que cargar con un secuestro accidental.
De: Sorprendente 📸

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@bobby_on_mars @hyp_e This is hilarious because I got in a serious relationship one time when I got a wrong number and the guy was like, “Wait wait wait … you sound cute.” (I was.)
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@hyp_e guys don’t need to see photos to know if a girl is cute. we just know
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@MelechThomas @ken_holliwood He’s so baby-faced 🥹
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Kendrick Lamar being on 106 & Park feels so surreal. That show is such a relic of a world which no longer exists. But it points out exactly how long Kendrick has been putting in work.
𝓐𝓵𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓼@ShiffonAlexis
This is another interview Kendrick Lamar did at 106 & Park right around the time good kid, m.A.A.d city (2012) was coming out
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@muntazer_zaidi I can’t believe I get the honor now to follow you. LEGENDARY. Thank you for your service lol
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They tortured me for three days and put me in solitary confinement for three months, and I was sentenced to one year in prison.
abd._.dir@aqinsaaf
@muntazer_zaidi Brother what did they do to you after this incident? I know they would’ve never let you out easily
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@overton_news No, he sounds like he’s finally getting it. Joe’s a disinfo agent.
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Joe Rogan tells Theo Von to his face he’s “losing his f*cking marbles” during the latest episode of the podcast.
Rogan then urged him to get off antidepressants after Von went on a bizarre rant.
VON: “It’s all just a cat and mouse game.”
“People are like, ‘we’ll elect the Democrats next time.’ But it’s all...the same sh*t has been happening forever.”
“They haven’t been helping anybody forever.”
“They’re letting f*cking politicians slurp on kids!”
“All of our f*cking money goes to Israel and they’re using it to f*cking genocide people!”
“It’s like, everybody is scared out of their wits right now. It’s like, our religious leaders are afraid to speak out.”
“It’s like...the...it’s a time where it’s like...satan is amongst us and our religious leaders are talking about bullsh*t at the polls!”
“It’s just like, what is going...I don’t know man.”
ROGAN: “We gotta get you off those antidepressants, son.”
“You’re losing your f*cking marbles!”
VON: “You think I am?”
ROGAN: “Come hang out with us. Just chill out!”
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@DonnieBlaq @breanimator Omg my man and I were just talking about this! Like “Remember the castle show?!” Which soft-launched David and the Gnome into our shared reverie.
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Cuz it is. No cocomelom for my daughter either.
We only let her watch Blues Clues (Steve specifically), Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street , and Ms. Rachel at the moment. Working our way up to other stuff.
emily may@emilykmay
I love millenial moms because wdym that you don't let your child watch paw patrol because it's "copaganda."
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@breanimator Wait, fill me in on Cocomelon?
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@oxfordmarlboro @hoodfarquaad He saves that for the island.
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@hoodfarquaad Yeah but he's not gonna do drugs in the bathroom and then pull his dick out in front of everyone
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they really giving billionaires free food for life but throw away good food that could feed the homeless ight bro
Redd@ReddCinema
Bill Gates is one of the few holders of the coveted McDonalds 'Gold Card', which grants free food for life. Warren Buffet also has one.
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@hoodfarquaad Not in defense of that asshole, but McDonald’ barely constitutes as “food.”
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@im_all_id @Quartzjixler I don’t think it’ll be a problem. I doubt that shit will last 100 years.
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@kferrDC @DislykReality @queenie4rmnola You’re so close to getting it. WHY would they be inclined to reoffend?
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@DislykReality @queenie4rmnola Criminals in prison already are likely to be repatriated offenders anyways. And repeat offenders almost always continue reoffending. We’d be better off just locking them away forever after 3-5 convictions
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