Katherine Argent

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

Also, because mine is ultimately a literary-oriented account, I should point out that Kurt Vonnegut had to hand-illustrate an asshole because his publisher would not include a photo and damned if Anthropic didn’t rip that off, too.

@NewYorker Do we get to stand in line to bitch slap @jaketapper now?

A new book by the Times reporters Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan provides a vivid, rigorous, and unavoidably depressing chronicle of the first year of Donald Trump’s second term in the White House. “Regime Change” is packed with news that will stay news, David Remnick writes. It is particularly strong on the Administration’s colossal financial corruption, its heedless destruction of invaluable agencies such as U.S.A.I.D., and the sordid and unhinged nature of Trump and the culture over which he presides. Haberman and Swan contend that Trump ran in 2024 for one reason above all: “This was about staying out of prison.” Read Remnick on their “exceptional” book: newyorkermag.visitlink.me/zMeXnh

@Playerinthgame Can’t argue with the numbers. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@effthealgorithm What can we do? It’s the free market.

The market has spoken.

@Playerinthgame The data says users want something else.

That’s what they say, right? Just wasn’t meant to be.

Listen, you hold onto that. Take it slow, but hold on. Because life doesn't give you too many people who know how to make you feel good about yourself. When you find them, and when there aren't strings or an agenda, thank the skies then hold tight. Best wishes for you, Travis. Enjoy.

@juscarts She makes me feel good about myself, Justin. That’s worth more than a few bucks off a honey chipotle chicken sandwich.

Stupidly in love with Chili’s girl. Not sure what that all means rn but it’s a nice way to feel.

These are how all juice glasses must've looked to our proto-Silicon Valley parents in the late 70s on the Sunday morning after hosting their first swingers' party when they realized that deciding to stay home and sleep late invited more questions than showing up in church red-eyed and reeking of Marlboros with the family and praying to God they didn't hurl the communion wafer before they got back to the station wagon.

So, they studied the ‘08 playbook on “too big to fail” then crammmed AI into everything whether we wanted it or not, convinced the control junkies in Washington this was their fix for permanent power, and told struggling businesses “adopt or die.” But now they’re realizing people don’t want this crap. That we aren’t paying premiums for it. That maybe they shouldn’t have built their business model on theft and putting us all out of work. That we will cancel services rather than put up with it or pay them. Now they want bailouts. Fuck ‘em.

And I can’t believe I’m having to say this but collecting paint chips is actually picking up litter, which is the opposite of vandalism.

@brecht_dp I know.

And that was my 6th tiered rejection from One Story...

@JimCondelles Thanks, Jim.

@effthealgorithm The epic sequel!! Love it! And all true.

Later today I get to replace my phone because, after FaceID didn’t work, I unlocked it with a passcode. Then I cleared the notifications so I could pull up my browser. Navigated to this platform, entered my password, waited for my 2FA code, and had to type that in…but first I paused to make coffee. Then the site said the code had expired, so I reloaded and repeated, and finally got in. First thing I saw was a link a friend posted. Tapped on it, consented to some cookies, rejected others, got through a paragraph and had to log in to read the rest. Fine. Did that. Once logged in, a popup asked if I wanted their newsletter. Declined. Scrolled back to where I was — past a huge ad that took up an entire screen — and found there were only two more sentences in the thing I was reading. They weren’t even meaningful ones. That’s when I slammed my phone down and shattered the screen. I’d go without a phone entirely, since I don’t actually use mine to talk to anyone (sorry not sorry, spam callers), but then I wouldn’t be able to do laundry. What are we even doing with the internet anymore? Why is it all such a hassle? Why does absolutely everything online come down to a choice between sacrificing our privacy and money to avoid hassles, or living in a time-sucking hellscape over which we have zero control (and which steals our private data anyway)? Why do I need a damn app to do laundry? Are we ready to start the backlash yet? Are we ready to start hassling our elected officials the way we feel hassled, firing off daily emails and letters demanding they rein in the tech overreach? Are we ready to cancel subscriptions and ditch search engines and delete apps that serve up one irritation after another so they can figure out which ones we’re willing to pay to stop? Are we ready to start blocking all the bots and trolls — not engaging with them, just blocking them — so the platforms stop monetizing our rage and serving up more of it for their profit? Are we ready to say AI slop videos and photos of what Aunt Janet had for lunch and knowing if anyone else thinks Euphoria has gone off the rails aren’t worth all the aggravation and time we have to spend now? I am. I’m getting a flip phone and finding a different laundromat. I’m going to pretend like it’s 2004 and that the only way to get online is by sitting in front of a computer. And since I’m old, my aching back will make a more reliable screentime monitor than any app I’ve tried so far. No more whipping my phone out of my pocket to answer every random question because why not find out how many grapes the average person can fit in their mouth at once when it just takes a second to look that up? No more checking socials, checking email, checking the news to fill every idle moment in the grocery line or at the dentist office or while waiting for an elevator just to avoid talking to other people or, more terrifying, having to think. No more notifications that there’s a sale on toilet seats at the place I just bought a new toilet seat that apparently thinks I’m collecting them. No more. If I’m going to put up with irritations, they’re going to be ones which benefit me, not the tech companies. I’m done.

@Parigoat37 Maybe we can start feeling better about not answering work emails or phone calls when we're not on the clock?

@effthealgorithm Boy do i know the feeling. But how will ppl ditch it when their job requires?

@tanujsolanki I'm seeing that, too, both in the cover letters and in the stories. If it's in the cover letter, I go into the story already on high alert. Silly thing for people to do. They're harming their own work.

Last two days, while reading fiction for TBLM, I’ve made two “likely AI-use” notes on stories. Thing isn’t easy to catch. It took me time with the story to develop a strong enough suspicion. That time is pure waste. Tools aren’t free at scale. AI will do serious harm to litmags.

@TommyDeanWriter Congratulations, Tommy. So excited for you!

I’m so excited for this new adventure! I just love agenting so much!

@religionlies2u I liked her insights at the end.

@effthealgorithm I read it and it brought a tear to my eye because I thought “dear god what are we becoming”

This is an amazing poem. “…I felt sheltered by shadow and what’s watching this memed country-wide slash and burn doing to us all what shame what terror to feel safe for now until we’re not…” Go read.

This is so true. Every week after I’ve read the latest submissions, I check on the ones I’d upvoted before. It’s a little treat to myself, seeing them succeed.

You probably think AI is there to make you better. Meanwhile, the AI devs think you are there to make their AI better. Where do you suppose this will go?