Chud’s Army

What's up with this guy's head? 😳

Angel Studios Announces Faith-Based ‘Green Mile’ Remake Starring Brock Lesnar as a 300-Pound Miracle Worker Who Heals Death Row Inmates With Bear Hugs LOS ANGELES — Angel Studios just dropped the poster for their upcoming 2026 epic, The Green Mile: A New Story of Redemption, and it is already dividing audiences between those praising the Lord and those checking their fantasy football lineups. In the reimagined classic, Brock Lesnar steps into the role of a modern-day John Coffey: a towering, muscle-bound giant in torn overalls who brings healing, redemption, and the occasional unintentional clothesline to a grim prison. Tom Hanks returns as the compassionate guard who discovers that sometimes the real miracle is not getting accidentally powerbombed during a quiet moment of spiritual reflection. Director Frank Darabont described the project as a faithful update to the original story’s themes of faith, forgiveness, and human dignity, “except this time the dignity comes with 50 extra pounds of pure protein and a finishing move that sends demons straight back to hell.” Test audiences reportedly left theaters shouting “Hallelujah!” right before yelling “Suplex City!” Early reports say Lesnar’s character still performs miraculous healings, but now they come with optional F-5s for inmates who refuse to repent. The iconic execution scene has been creatively revised, with reliable sources confirming the electric chair has been swapped out for a steel chair and a referee in striped shirt. Angel Studios promises the film will stay true to the heart of the source material while delivering the kind of raw spiritual power that only a former WWE champion can provide. One excited youth pastor who attended a preview called it “the most biblical giant since Goliath, except this one wins.” Pre-orders for tickets and merch are already flooding in from churches and MMA gyms alike. The movie hits theaters soon. Just remember to stretch before the altar call.

Angel Studios Announces Faith-Based ‘Green Mile’ Remake Starring Brock Lesnar as a 300-Pound Miracle Worker Who Heals Death Row Inmates With Bear Hugs LOS ANGELES — Angel Studios just dropped the poster for their upcoming 2026 epic, The Green Mile: A New Story of Redemption, and it is already dividing audiences between those praising the Lord and those checking their fantasy football lineups. In the reimagined classic, Brock Lesnar steps into the role of a modern-day John Coffey: a towering, muscle-bound giant in torn overalls who brings healing, redemption, and the occasional unintentional clothesline to a grim prison. Tom Hanks returns as the compassionate guard who discovers that sometimes the real miracle is not getting accidentally powerbombed during a quiet moment of spiritual reflection. Director Frank Darabont described the project as a faithful update to the original story’s themes of faith, forgiveness, and human dignity, “except this time the dignity comes with 50 extra pounds of pure protein and a finishing move that sends demons straight back to hell.” Test audiences reportedly left theaters shouting “Hallelujah!” right before yelling “Suplex City!” Early reports say Lesnar’s character still performs miraculous healings, but now they come with optional F-5s for inmates who refuse to repent. The iconic execution scene has been creatively revised, with reliable sources confirming the electric chair has been swapped out for a steel chair and a referee in striped shirt. Angel Studios promises the film will stay true to the heart of the source material while delivering the kind of raw spiritual power that only a former WWE champion can provide. One excited youth pastor who attended a preview called it “the most biblical giant since Goliath, except this one wins.” Pre-orders for tickets and merch are already flooding in from churches and MMA gyms alike. The movie hits theaters soon. Just remember to stretch before the altar call.