Crumps

@synthandlasers Depends

@Crumps2 We know who shits the pants in this relationship

This couple at the bar is awkwardly making out in front of everyone and the girl just audibly ripped ass and nobody acknowledged it. I am truly in the finest of establishments

@TrueShaggy2 He is...

@Crumps2 I think his point might be that he did this intentionally, to prove that those who disagree with him or don’t like him will take any opportunity they can find to denegrate him. It’s a smart move, honestly. Any attacks will vindicate his perspective.

I cut my own hair and the fucking line up in the back is 100x better Trillionaire hasn't discovered barbers, or one that doesn't openly detest him. Amazing

Please tell me the legendary moment was streamed somewhere LOL

Yeah, a game WITH KIDS.....cmon y'all

Since 1997 Tiger Woods has as many DUIs and car crashes as the Dallas Cowboys have playoff wins.

@Afamfreemind @dom_lucre @grok LOOOOK, IT'S A MORON. OH MY GOD! IT'S A MORON

@dom_lucre @grok What joke did he make about The Lion King that got him into trouble? Can you explain what was said and why it caused such a reaction?

🔥🚨BREAKING: Comedian Learnmore Jonasi was got served with a $27 million lawsuit from Disney right on stage because of his viral Lion King joke.

@WilliamMountai8 @conquertheno I was thinking that, and then it clicked with me that I spend more on rent than food monthly. Doesn't say what hotel room, so if it's a suite/penthouse I'm actually choosing the housing

@conquertheno Food is the only answer that makes any sense. With the money you save on food you could buy all the flights, hotels, concert tix, whatever the hell you want.

Which one do you want free for life?

@WhiteHouse You had me worried with the length of the video that it was the entirety of @JDVance fornicating that couch

📱🔉

"I call it 'forced theft of like 25% of my income.' I'm told not to call it 'taxes' because you're supposed to pay taxes"

@DaddyDimmuTv Whats amazing is X loaded this tweet with no username and no PFP and I still knew who it was from instantly LOL

Got a face time from my wife, I’m not sure things are well at home 😂

Well, that was a matter of time until Elon decided he could use more money. Fwiw, its not gonna change more than like 2c/kwh and I'm being corny here

Anyone else's cat love to full speed run around while liquid puking on you, the bed, and everything surrounding it? No? Just me? Seems about right

Enlistment is a tad low eh? Maybe the Cult of the Orange Chomo should line up before the next step, which is the draft

@TrueShaggy2 @DoorDash "Speak clearly into the ass, sir"

@Crumps2 @DoorDash I quickly glanced at this cuz it push notified me, and i shit you not, i read that part of the first sentence as “rectal hearing” 🤣

So @DoorDash decided to rectify hanging up on me asking to appeal a decision by calling 12 hours later at 345am to pretend to be shocked we got disconnected. 12 hours to notice you hung up on someone?

Why the actual fuck did Doordash just call me at 345am?

@calebhart42 "Hope complains a lot" - oh, just wait till much later in the timeline hahah

So, verdict on Final Fantasy 13: For a game made in 2009 it looks honestly very nice. The combat is fun, not super advanced but definitely can min/max even in the earlier stages. I like the battle theme, Lightning is kind of a bitch (hopefully she opens up more), Sazh is cool, Hope complains a lot, Vanille makes nice noises in combat. I do not agree when people say it's a bad game, it feels much different from the others in the series but overall it's pretty damn fun so far.

@dafiercediety Link - "NO, I said "HYAH!" not "HIYA!"

A witness just sent me a photo of Chappell Roan attacking a child in Brazil