Paul Ellis

@Bax2Business Yes I've heard of Apples. I'm a pc guy myself as the Macs are too spendy. Ha! What about those caramel cube wrappers I find in between the couch cushions? You know I don't like those filling traps.

@Ellis4Learning And spouse with cheesy-triangle breath is mine. You've heard of "apples," right?

HEY, CORAL, ANY CHANCE OUR LATEST EPISODE IS WHY PEOPLE KEPT SNIFFING MY BREATH AT WORK TODAY?

@Bax2Business You know those little cheesy triangles of love are my kryptonite. There are only so many kale chips a guy can eat. And that number is less than one.

@Ellis4Learning Because Doritos.

@Bax2Business Pardon you the way Ford pardoned Nixon? Cuz that's what it would be like. Not to mention I think I'm the only one with a snack allowance. Why's that?

@Ellis4Learning I just think your snack allowance could be better spent, Paul. Pardon me for caring about your health.

@DCritPodcast I made my case in the episode already, but if you vote for us to keep the demon spawn some refer to as "cat", then it's on your conscience.

There are still a couple days left to help us decide if the dog stays, the cat stays, they both stay or they both go. Toss us your vote at #Vote" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">dcritpodcast.com/#Vote

@Bax2Business Then you've got a lot of age. Ha! That was a good one

@Ellis4Learning Age is an attitude.

When you vote, just remember: CHAD IS A VERY GOOD BOY! and disregard anything @Bax2Business says. #Vote" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">dcritpodcast.com/#Vote

@Bax2Business You do realize you're 14 months older than me, right?

@Ellis4Learning You really need to do a meme update, honey. I know you're old, but....

@Bax2Business Is that why you insist on badgering me about this chore or that task? Maybe if you put a little honey into it I might be a bit more responsive.

@Ellis4Learning I think a certain honey-badgerish attitude is necessary for survival in this household....

@Bax2Business Look at the back of the couch Ally, and you'll see the mistake in that statement. And Chad's sense of bravery. Are you sure you didn't adopt a honey badger?

@Ellis4Learning Chad is lovely. Of course, so were my $120 running shoes, my $15 CD of The Best of James Taylor, and my SIGNED COPY of Land of Laughs by Jonathan Carroll. Kitty, on the other paw, has destroyed....NOTHING.

@Bax2Business How many never-drinking-that-much-wine-agains are we up to now, hmm?

@Ellis4Learning I. HATE. YOU. If I barf, guess whose side of the bed it'll be on? Shhhhhhhh

How are you feeling this morning, Ally? How about some scrambled eggs with hollandaise? Maybe some raw oysters? Hmm? Heh heh

@Bax2Business I did t know you love potatoes so much. It's so sweet!

Potato potato tomato tomato something something la la off!

@Bax2Business @DCritPodcast That's why I refused to let you being a bottle with you when you went into labor. Or OB Dr. Mason is not really a stranger but I wasn't taking any chances.

@Ellis4Learning @DCritPodcast Can I help it if people are stupid and tequila makes it possible to tell them so?

In a fit of frustration Paul the Unhandy tried to remove the bidet himself. That resulted in a broken toilet seat, which he proceeded to run out to Goodwill to find a used one. Let's hope Goodwill does not have any.

@Bax2Business @DCritPodcast So you're saying the shared bottle of tequila was a bad choice? I mean it does usually make you want to fight strangers.

@Ellis4Learning @DCritPodcast I know. It’s my fault for having made some bad choices. Ahem.

@Bax2Business So you opt to keep a tin of breath mints over your dear old husband? You'd miss me when I'm gone and the tin's empty so joke's on you.

@Ellis4Learning Twitter only allows 4 choices.

Can we still #GetRidOfThingsThatDontBringJoy? Because my husband is a hoarder of crap. Would you keep (and this is a random sampling of what's in eye view):

@Bax2Business @DCritPodcast Unfortunately I remember. You were just muttering obscenities at me. In some other language, I think. And that was the week leading up to it.

@Ellis4Learning @DCritPodcast Very funny. You know that -- against my express wishes -- the doc had me doped up on so many pain meds I not only didn't get to witness the birth, I can't remember the week leading up to it.

@Bax2Business @DCritPodcast About the same age as Coral. Which means you still don't know, do you?

@Ellis4Learning @DCritPodcast What. You SWORE my toilet had never been touched by any tushy but my own. PAUL, HOW OLD IS MY TOILET SEAT????

@Bax2Business @karinheim GMO-free ain't free, Ally. It's actually pretty spendy.

@karinheim That is actually really adorable. Do you know if it's GMO-free?

I hardly ever do anything with my hands these days - all my creativity goes into writing and acting, but today the kids and I tried out fimo clay, and my daughter asked me to make a unicorn. Sidenote: it sparkles.