Gabriel Hudelson@GabrielHudelson
YES, MY WIFE IS TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON ME.
“But if you don’t have a college degree, what is your fallback plan if your husband divorces you?”
This mindset is in the water at this point in American history. But it is not in the Bible. Here are a few considerations.
1- Scripture says that the two shall become one flesh. I can tell you right now that I do not have a contingency plan for what I will do if half of my organs and limbs stop working. I mean, we might make it to a hospital and maybe figure something out… But that’s not something that I’m planning for. There are solutions for paraplegia, but I don’t know anyone who has written out a step-by-step paraplegia plan… nor am I aware of anyone who has become a double amputee for any reason other than the most extreme.
But today, we have an attitude towards marriage that puts marriage in roughly the same category as fashion or diet. These are lifestyle choices. You choose what best expresses your authentic self, and if your authentic self changes, so does its expression.
But from a Christian perspective, divorcing your spouse is not like changing your haircut. It’s like cutting off an arm and a leg. If the two have become one flesh, then they cannot be separated without catastrophic damage, and they should not be separated except under catastrophic necessity.
So do I have a contingency plan for getting both of my legs blown off? Does my wife? No, we don’t.
Do you?
2- Yes, my wife is in a very vulnerable spot. But so am I, actually. She is dependent on me. I am dependent on her. This is what it means to be one flesh. She wouldn’t have a house without me, and I wouldn’t have a home without her. We need each other.
Furthermore, my heart safely trusts in her. Which means that if anybody wanted to rob me blind or wound me deeply, she could do it. And in today’s culture, plenty of ladies are actually doing this through the divorce process.
Yet for some reason, no one ever asks young men what they’re going to do if their wife divorces them. No one is ever concerned about their contingency plan. Why is this?
And when the redpillers start talking about prenups, this is seen as the height of misogyny. But what do you expect from young men who face the prospect of legal plunder if they tie the knot to a bad woman?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of prenuptial agreements. I think marriage is dangerous and it is supposed to be that way. And I think that you should make sure that you really know someone to the best of your human ability before you marry them.
But let’s not act like the ladies are supposed to have a contingency plan, but if the boys have a contingency plan then it is misogyny.
3- Marriage is dangerous. The disciples understood this implication when Jesus said what He did about divorce, and concluded that it was better not to marry at all. It is noteworthy that Jesus did not say “whoa guys, you’re getting the wrong impression, there’s very little risk involved in marriage, and if you marry a bad spouse you can just divorce them and get a different one; no one should have to live in an unhealthy marriage! Everyone has a right to feel safe!”
To the contrary, Jesus said “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.” (Matt. 19:11)
Marriage puts both parties into a very vulnerable position. Marriage is very dangerous.
Most of the best things in life are.
4- A fundamental issue here is our culture of safety. There is a fundamental crisis of purpose in our culture today. What are we here for? To have a quiet house with no children to disturb our peace and to spend our Friday nights sipping martinis on our yacht?
Or were we made for something more? If we were made to slay dragons, then we need to recognize that dragon slaying is not an occupation you pursue for its chill vibes.
The goal is not to figure out what path has the least resistance, but rather which path burns the most brightly for Christ.
