Lizz Adams

Happily married to my 5’5” king for 8 years while y’all are getting ghosted by 6’2” alcoholics with 7th grade reading levels but go off about how you only date tall men I guess

@BIJJNOKER bc it goes viral twice a year and it amuses me

@Lizz It’s been like 6 years since that post was made. Why are you still obsessed with tall men?

i still stand by my statement that tall men can’t read. they are too far from the page.

@ArmchairRobot do you have a magnifying glass

@Lizz I am 6'5 and have discovered a few methods to circumvent this issue. 1: hold book closer to face. 2: read laying down. 3: bad posture to bring face closer to book.

once again my stupid little tweet about my short husband has gone viral so here’s an update. my tiny billionaire husband and i are still married with an even tinier daughter. she is 3, but i suspect she will grow.

@yeezyeezyteezy @InternetH0F congratulations

dang bro

was that an earthquake or another car crashing into a building in los feliz?

Earthquake Twitter lock the fuck in. We’re back.

one of my biggest pet peeves is when i’m with my 3 year old at a restaurant and the host asks if i need seating for 1 and a half to which i always reply- 2 please, she is a full person. maybe it’s petty and i know they think they’re being cute but THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID

Well, Toontown is fucked

Hi! Holocaust historian here. Let me see if I can help. That wasn't a "weird salute." It was a Hitler salute. Because Elon is a fucking Nazi. Hope that helps!

Yall be saying go fund me isn’t insurance but it sounds like insurance isn’t insurance either.

the lapd:

decided to get out of LA due to fire/winds/ general mayhem and I now understand why kids in disaster movies are so annoying- aliens could come attack and my daughter would be screaming I WANT MOANA SONG

crying at how they’ve drawn him like handsome squidward omg

this is the energy i’m bringing into 2025

i love how psychotic toddlers are. we just found out our elderly cat has lymphoma and my 3 year old daughter gleefully exclaimed “I think she is dying!”