Newt's Cock

I don't claim to be the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney; I stand here to be the conservative alternative to Barack Obama

Swelling with pride for @EliManning10NYG and @Giants. Nevada was a bust, but I'm going to explode in #Maine! #SBLXVI #GOPPrimary

That news conference showed them! Off to the @TheMustangRanch. Then, on to CO, MN, and ME! My ranks are swelling. And so am I. #GOPPrimary

Thanks @StephenAtHome! I needed to be touched, and you reached out and stroked me. Who needs a fluffer when you are there to #preparethem.

Can't believe we lost in Florida. Tubby hasn't touched me in days. I'm so lonely. Please, won't somebody touch me? #GOPPrimary

It's dark. I must be in Florida's darkest hole, Swamp Okefenokee. Hope alligators don't bite me off! #FLprimary

Newton Leroy (aka Tubby) has to hold a mirror between his legs to see me, but I'm still running the show. ¡Ya vengo! #FLprimary #GOPPrimary

Headed to Lake Okeechobee, the biggest hole in Florida! ¡Ya vengo! #FLPrimary, @chrislhayes

Callista, don the Ronald Reagan mask & get out the KY-Jelly; Daddy's coming home! @KeithOlbermann, @maddow, @James_Carville, @hardball_chris

Got a good profile pic up, thank goodness! @Stephenathome, @ac360, @seanhannity, @AnnCoulter

Thanks #SCprimary! Never been harder! ¡Ya vengo, Florida! @JohnKingCNN, @oreillyfactor, @S___Elliott, @Gawker