Quack

Eating broccoli in the nude is my favourite way to pretend I'm a brontosaurus.

Found a new online community that really resonates with me. It's a facebook group called beautiful pictures of wolves you should join us there.

*life flashing before my eyes* Ahh yes, Bananarama. Good times.

Holy shit I just came up with this: Duran Duran Duran

@colincraig1 It's ok man. We didn't pay for the trip. Not our carbon!

Thinking of becoming a nude house cleaner!

@markydoodoo This is really clever

after the bromance, comes the homeymoon

Just did a random act of Christmas kindness by rewinding a VHS tape

Stockpiling internet now. Using buckets, pans, bowls, whatever I can get my hands on that will hold internet.

"Don't know how they put those pieces together and brought this monster to life," Al lamented. But alas, it was Franken's time.

*girl with tattoos trying to get every tattoo into the selfie*

People shrink as they age. Little old ladies keep buying bigger and bigger purses. If you time it out right you can bury grandma in her last purse.

Incredibly important new poster I stuck up in town today. This is probably the first step on the road to me winning an Oscar

@Michael1979 you are quite funny I will follow you thanks.

I use my devices primarily to read about better devices.

Every movie is a shark movie once u realize that sharks don't demand attention and are ok with staying in the ocean and playing a supporting role.

sneezed while I was lying on my back, and as it all misted back down onto my face, I was reminded of the light summer rains of my youth

I’ve just been replaced at work with a hyperlink

Can't seem to shake this idea that eyebrows are just eyeball moustaches.

If your dentist hasn't killed at least 4 lions you have a shit dentist.