Lawrence Miles

@Keir_Starmer Out of interest, should trans people be allowed to watch the Champions League final for free? Or should there be a special ban for them?

Football should bring people together, not shut them out. For the first time since the competition began, fans won’t be able to watch the Champions League final for free. That’s not right. This is bigger than wanting to watch Arsenal in this historic final. It’s bigger than one club. Hardworking people shouldn’t have to fork out for a subscription to watch this match. I urge TNT Sports to reconsider and make the final next Saturday free to watch.

@osfinEXE I come back to Twitter every couple of weeks to see if I've missed anything important, and...

I need to get more autistic about polar exploration

@ehorakova Erin... I don't know what to say, because I'm not really part of your world any more. But. Hairy Sullivan was a top boy. I'm so sorry he's gone.

@ThePunnyWorld Someone's stolen all the vowels from my Scrabble set. I have no words. Except "tsk".

I just found out that “Aaarghh” is not a real word. I can’t express how angry I am.

@Keir_Starmer If you're the leader of the Labour Party, you should have at least some sympathy with the principles of the British labour movement rather than enabling the far right. *That's* common sense. You absolute stain of a man.

If you want to live in the UK, you should speak English. That’s common sense. So we’re raising English language requirements across every main immigration route.

#DoctorWho people of Twitter: this JPEG might be useful right about now. (Also, why are you still on Twitter? BlueSky's almost exactly the same, except without the adverts and Nazi apologists.)

This headline was so heavily mocked that the BBC changed it, and now there are polar bears going: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. A caravan? You're saying I weigh the same as a caravan?"

I mean, it's been clear since 2020 that New New Labour's transition into an explicitly right-wing party would end any meaningful democracy in the UK and lay the ground for a literal fascist takeover. I just wasn't expecting the far right to try speed-running it like this.

And I'd like to call on Luigi Mangione to dissolve the American oligarchy.

Too niche?

For this year's #DoctorWho, the surprise end-of-season villain should be Aggedor. And the reveal should be a song called "Aggedor All Along".

@instonveevinder Ivy... I'm 52. I was in my twenties when Gaiman was at his comic-writing peak and doing the convention circuit. And even then, *even then*, there were people recognising what we'd now call Red Flags. It was never "no indication", it was just "no evidence".

Over the years / decades, I've had vocal arguments with people I know / people I knew about the obvious terribleness of Neil Gaiman, Richard Dawkins, and Russell Brand. So if nothing else, this has been an "I told you so" sort of year. #Thats2024

Okay. Since this was the year when people stopped accusing me of libel for stating the obvious... here, finally, is my Neil Gaiman bit. #Thats2024

@the_jackalope_ No no no, I *will* be fucking off from Twitter soon. I'll also be fucking off in other ways, but that's incidental.

@The_Beasthouse Never fuck off lawrence!!!!!!! ❤️

How does he know I'm fat? I mean, I *am*, but how does he know that? Just going on probabilities, or...?

No, really, though. I've set up a Mastodon. I know you're all migrating to Bluesky, but there's something specific I want to try next year, and Mastodon's ideal for it. Sooo... yeah, that should be happening. Soon. Ish.

Anyway, I've set up a Mastodon. I stabbed someone to death with a pair of tusks and left huge footprints near the body.

You can tell I'm almost done with Twitter because I forgot to put the hat on this year.