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im like recovering or whatever… i guess

ice cream is such a delicacy

i hate white icing i hate whipped cream i hate gravy i hate

my dad romanticizes it in the same way lolita is romanticized

my dad treats me like we’re in a porno and i’m the “dumb” girl who’s step dad comes in and idk i hate it im not porn i’m not a toy

asi se siente ser kawaii y estar en una crisis

i’m very normal about everything i go through and then like once a month i have a terrible breakdown and i scream and throw everything and then im cool again

“semen stains the mountaintops” me af as fuck:

my dad is just banging on my wall oh my GOOOODDDDUGGGH

im incredibly hungover and im trying so hard not to throw up if i throw up again i know my brain will miss it and i cannot start purging again

unwillingly starving

i’m hungry

i wonder if my diagnosis they gave me at the psych ward was accurate my dad won’t let me go to a psychiatrist to figure things out

i haven’t been beat in so long

i hate being alone i can’t be okay unless im around people

i’m so nonchalant abt all the shit i go through no i really this is just my life if anyone else told me this shit i’d be disgusted for them

my b baby came out of me in chunks it was terrible

in my womb it was in my womb i did not kill a newborn

i miss my week old fetus that i purposefully mistreated in hopes of it dying im sorry baby

i could’ve been a great mommy