arisa

260404 #HAECHAN #해찬 instagram live 🐻: i think I’ve been spending my time thinking about what’s next. i have been resting, but I’ve also been taking vocal lessons, and i have been preparing for the next album comeback.. just constantly thinking about the future. because of that, i figured you might be worried, so i thought it’d be better to come and talk to you face-to-face like this. i also wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings. first of all, thank you so much to everyone who’s been worried about me. it's been really been over 10 years, right? if i am being exact, since i was 14… it’s been more than 13 years now. so yeah, it’s been 13 years. during those 13 years with mark hyung, i relied on him so much. i learned so much from him. whenever i was shaken, he held me together. honestly, other than during concerts, i have almost never seen him cry but there were times he called me while crying. to me, he was more than just a member… he was truly like a real older brother. in his family, he’s the youngest, and I’m the oldest in mine, but to me, he was my hyung. really. more than any other “hyung,” he felt like a real one to me. so after spending 13 years together, i depended on him a lot. i think that’s why many of you are even more worried, because you know that too. thank you so, so much. as soon as the article came out, i sent Mark hyung a long message. i told him: everyone knows how hard he worked while living as part of nct. all of that will surely become meaningful steps on the path he’s going to walk. and at the same time, everything he’s done in nct will also become good steps for nct's future path. so i told him to work hard in a way that he won’t regret the choice he made. now that i am the only one doing two teams, of course i feel sad and worried too. but all the things i built up while working with him… how should i even describe it? the energy and strength I gained from being with him are still with me. so now, i have become someone who can walk forward even without him. of course, even if he hadn’t been there from the start, i might have still made it this far… but i don’t think that path would have been easy alone. still, because he was there, he gave me comfort, strength, and support. an all of that has built up into the strength that allows me to keep going now. that is something ireally wanted to tell all of you, that you don’t have to worry too much. mark hyung wasn’t my only pillar of support. i have the other members too, and i have czennies who support me. so i am not scared. i am not worried. i don’t know yet what choices or decisions i will make in the future, but no matter what, the 10 years i have walked and the many people who’ve been by my side will continue to be with me. so i am not afraid. and when it comes to Mark hyung’s decision… i know his personality well. i know he must have thought about it deeply. he probably went through a lot of stress and pain while making that choice. of course, we can’t say whether that decision was right or wrong… but i do feel a bit regretful about the way it was delivered to you all. i knew about it at the time too… but honestly, there was nothing the members could do. it was such a helpless moment, we really couldn’t do anything except feel frustrated and cry. that part is still really frustrating. but still, thank you all so much. and going forward… i hope you’ll continue to stay with us like you are now.