Sally Chicken

The Ruminati have been at it for approximately ten thousand years. Their campaign to destroy the climate began in the Fertile Crescent, around 8000 BC, when they first allowed themselves to be domesticated. This was, in retrospect, a strategic masterstroke. They gained access to protected grazing land, reliable water, and winter feed, while simultaneously positioning themselves inside the human food system where their nefarious influence could operate at scale. The methane operation: continuous and uninterrupted since initial deployment. Every belch a contribution to the long game. The artery situation: staged carefully over decades. First, establish themselves as the foundation of every successful civilisation's diet. Then wait for one flawed study in the 1960s. Then watch from the field as the dietary establishment, working from that study, does the rest. The countryside: this is where the Ruminati have been most subtle. While publicly positioned as destroyers of habitat, they have spent ten thousand years maintaining open grassland, supporting species that require grazed sward, building soil through manure deposition, and improving the biodiversity of every field they've touched. All while claiming to be the problem. The audacity. Gerald is in the south corner. Gerald has been in the south corner for four years. In those four years, three wildflower species have appeared in the south corner that weren't there before. Gerald has not acknowledged this. Gerald is not ready to reveal the extent of the operation. Gerald is eating more grass. The south corner is fine. The Ruminati are winning.