₊⊹ kristen 🪐 .𖥔 ݁ ˖

— kris statlander 🌠 ꒰ the galaxy's greatest alien .ᐟ ꒱ ⤷ 18+ MDNI ˎˊ˗ ⤷ [N]SFW ˎˊ˗ ⤷ bisexual, nonbinary (masc or fem parts) ˎˊ˗ ⤷ 65% sub, 35% dom ˎˊ˗ ⤷ ships w/ chem ˎˊ˗ dms open! - more info below

* . 🌟 * . * 🚀 * . . 🪐 * . * 🌌 * . * . . * . ✨ . * . 🌍 . * * . * 🌕 . * * . * . *⭐️ * . * 🌠

I DIRECTLY receive the jerk signals from outer space. YOU do not

the feminine urge to walk around in a nightgown holding a candlestick

who up with their unidentified anomalous phenomena

the first dude to slip on a banana peel was probably like holy shit

here it’s spring over and over and over again

They’re inventing a new way to harm my nervous system

microwaving rocks to reveal their secrets

@ca11m3m1n3 oh okay. i'll try again later!

@glorplander um i dont think-

kris statlander

@ca11m3m1n3 do u know who i can electrocute? i want to statics people

@glorplander SCIENCETITS!!!!

@ca11m3m1n3 SCIENCETITS!

@glorplander ALIENS

feeling very maternal towards every exhausted bee i pass

you are barking up the Right tree. i love you

by artist Stuart Dunkel.

My abuse goblin escaped

anybody know absolutely anything about anything

moss means home

one must imagine Sisyphus eating endless shrimps at Red Lobster

he lost contact with the mothership and i think he's scared