Jonathan Duffy

Jono, describe your comedy... Well it’s dick jokes, wrapped in pop culture, sprinkled with accents, presented by an over achieving fat kid who secretly wanted to rebel but loved awards too much.

Julianne Moore and Annette Bening interviewing each other about their acting is the unintentional lesbian energy I needed on my birthday

@TheBoltUpright to be fair they did say that they won't reveal the name cause they all get trolled all day

#nasa: we want to investigate these UAP more because the safety of people is the most important thing. Reporter: Ok great, so will you be providing a budget for this thing that will keep people safe? Nasa: Nah, we'll crowdfund it.

Is it just me, or is anyone else disappointed by the #nasa press conference? I mean I don't really care about UAPs but I was kind of hoping they would reveal something big that would mean I don't have to work tomorrow.

#nasa: So we're going to try to be more transparent and stop stigmatising UAPs. Public: Ok, so did you discover anything? Nasa: apart from weather balloons, no. Public: Really? I got all dressed up to hear that you're gonna look harder and try not lie?

#nasa: We know it's not aliens but we don't know what these UAP are. Reporter: Ok, then how do you know what something isn't if you don't know what it is? Nasa: Shut up, that's how.

𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗛𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 ✨ 👉 Vendredi 28 juillet au @cinemarlequin 19h : Ouverture du bar 🍸 20h : Projection du film : 𝙇𝙀 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙐𝙎 𝘿𝙀 𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙓 𝗱𝗲 𝗜𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝗞𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿, précédée d'un stand-up de @jonoduffy 🎟 bit.ly/LOSTINFRENCHJU…

Of all the things I never thought I would be; I never thought I would be a 37 yo listening to Taylor Swift’s ‘Lover,’ on vinyl, in my kitchen, from a speaker that almost costs the same amount of money as my rent; but here we are.

Today took an international train. I arrived like “a normal person” 10 minutes before departure instead of 3 hours like I usually do. I almost shit myself 10 times with anxiety. How the fuck do y’all just mosey on in just before departure like it’s normal?

@geraldinequinn Is it a Victorian thing? Cause I have no idea what that means

Hey Australia, are we gonna tell the rest of the internet what ‘gronk’ means here, or should we just dropbear it?

Me: I hate it when my Uber driver rage quits only 200m away. Also me: um I’ve never been to oboo java

I worked in a medical centre when I was younger and I always remember that old people were obsessed with their poop. How often, what it’s like, you name it. I’m getting close to 40 and now I genuinely feel like I poop way more now than I did 20 years ago. Is it beginning?

Jenna Ortega is one of our times greatest actors and here's why. I saw her in 1 season of YOU & hated her character so much that I can't see that it's a character and not her. As a result, I don't want to see anything she's in. I know this isn't logical.

Hollywood: People sure love this Jenna Ortega girl, we must put her in everything! Person: Are you sure? Hollywood: It's the only way. From hence fourth all movies will be vehicles for Jenna Ortega's career until we move on to someone else. Person: So till next week?

I’m just a gay who wants to be a plant dad but I haven’t been able to convince my fiancé that more plants is the way to go.

Icelandic companies: it’s pride, we’re rainbow. Nova: we’re having a fisting contest you stupid sluts! Are you gagged, you bitch throat goats! #island #nova #iceland

is it just me, or do other people hear that it's Paris fashion week and think, 'Didn't that already happen like 20 times in the past 6 months?' I guess my real question is, 'When is it NOT Paris Fashion Week?'

Remember how JJ Abrams did a whole Ted Talk about never giving your audience all the answers and then loads of filmmakers took it too literally and now we live in a world where we can have like 10 seasons of a show and never get any answers? So, Thanks JJ.

I don’t get the parents of #nepobabies saying they wish we would let it go. Calm down, it’s not like people are gonna stop hiring your kids. Haha that would mean that the opinions of us non nepo babies actually matter.

I’m having an identity crisis. According to my news feed I’m the only person in the world who hasn’t received a standing ovation at the Venice film festival. #VeniceFilmFestival