jt compher ⚡️

in case y’all don’t believe me 😌

my heart is so big i can tell 5 girls i love them at the same time and still only have room for my ex

Bye guys

saying “dat bih gah” after every sip of a diet coke

Data center Uhh no thanks I’d rather date a woman!

my sexual fantasy is someone putting effort into talking to me

call it necrophilia the way i crack a cold one

i wouldn’t wish being my friend on my worst enemy

in another life we were two birds killed by the same stone

I need to have a beer with Parker Kelly IMMEDIATELY.

@gofrickurself Dude nooooo

They’re [REDACTED] me tomorrow

To my friends, On February 19th, my wife, Erika was struck by a vehicle while walking in the cross walk. She has severe traumatic brain injury. If you have the time, please read and share. gofund.me/a151dc561

Im sorry liver but daddy’s thirsty again

MY FAVORITE PLAYER BUTLER AND I GOT A BUTLER

@BriseBoisBurner Nick Paul

@pwar37 Oilers got him locked up until 2028. Need to dangle trade bait.

Hockey twitter in the offseason

LOVE THE ENERGY BUT YOU LOOK HOMELESS FR

i take 1000mg of caffeine by day and 1000mg thc by night

only way to save money is to not care about your appearance and have no friends and not eat

im embarrassing myself for the pursuit of human connection if you wanna join

@roughingthegoat See you next season buddy

as a coach, there isn’t anything you can say to a team who goes down 0-3 in the 1st period in back-to-back playoff games. they just don’t care. garbage 🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️am not a fan anymore! the Bell Centre can be turned into a synagogue! #Habs