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my uber today is orange can’t miss this one

@UAPWixy it’s a balloon

🚨A pilot up above the clouds captures this... And don't say its a balloon...

this plane is going down and im gay

[talking to a customer] yea so basically it’s called a zero turn because it’s unable to turn at all. the mower actually rotates the earth beneath its wheels customer: that can’t be right whatever man i make like 8 dollars an hour

being pregnant should be in the olympics

blowing up my coworker’s car as a harmless prank

she’s too pregnant for my taste

kicking my dads ass because he’s becoming a faggot with age

thinking about my beautiful girlfriend and how much i hate her

@OnCinemaOnAnger listen

This 50 second clip is more or less the plot of Disclosure Day

movies continue to look worse and worse that’s why i only watch pornography

@hfbaefhvdibsagl what a disgusting display

@severalbird Deadnamed yo ass

sometimes i wonder if life would have turned out better if i never hatched

@hfbaefhvdibsagl wait a minute

@severalbird Omg dont talk like that cyrus

in a now deleted post your mom sucked me off from the back

someone with this profile picture just liked one of my posts

flo has a huge penis

this is literally my whole bit

let’s go to the comments to transvestigate